I ended up with the c.team again, s/h'd and was suicidal. I still feel really low, thanks for the offers to talk. I did ring the samaritans, who got me to ring NHS Direct and they put me in touch with the c.t. - I am under them again now, feel at a loss. Because I have started again to s/h don;t want to stop.
I don;t know what I am going to do - feel like giving up on everything, feel like I have given up on everything.
Is it worth it??? NO my head is shouting.