im feeling low tonight. have got stuck with an eye infection and all one side of my face is swollen and red, i look like ive been punched. i feel achey and irratable.
my mum went out this afternoon and left a box of cocodamol on the side by accident (she takes them for her bad leg) and i spent half the day staring at them and the rest of the day, even now, thinking about them. she was mortified when she came home and realised she'd left them out and i told her she needent have worried but i lied.
i want to take them all. end this life. im tired and fed up of living with bpd and pyhcotic depression and ptsd im tired of smiling and trying to be alright for everyone else when i feel like im dying inside.
im trying coping strageties and i know i only have to say all this out loud to my sw or support worker but i cant. im scared and frightened and i dont think i can cope with these suicide feelings again.
hope everyone else is ok.
love to all xxx