machete wielding old ladies?? nah, that would have been too much effort.
I would have just added some points to your criminal record score
You wander the streets of Glasgow looking to skadge a paper, being too much of a skinflint to buy one. Eventually having wasted nearly a full day on this endeavour, you manage to dig a metro out of the bins outside KFC (no chicken before you ask
after a while and holding in your disgust at the stink on pages, as well as stains that look a lot like semen, you find out there's an open day tomorrow for a call centre job at the SECC.
Unfortunately you have no time for any prep tonight, but you can still go to it tomorrow.
so what do you do for the rest of the evening?
try to get into a hostel?
go to hospital?
go to a soup kitchen?
or retire to the bus station for the night?