Sir Hugo, I'll either take the red pill or the blue one

[maisi]

Oi, ref, what you doing about this?!!

A hamster has chewed through a cable somewhere and realities are merging. There's a homeless person in the mirror but it isn't me. It's this odd looking bloke with an odd name, a bit like 'attempt' or something- shall I go into the mirror?

I'm going to look for a job online, where all the best, realest opportunities are. The internet will employ me- it wants my algorithms...ah no, online I'm a product in a vast virtual supermarket for advertisers.

I'll look in the paper- even if there's no jobs, I can stuff it in my boots afterwards

[andthistoomustpass]

Odd looking!? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and my mirror tells me I look great

[sirhugo]

sorry but there's no ref in this game. the law of the jungle applies

you head to the train station to nick a Metro (the free paper in case you didn't know). typically all the morning commuters have already emptied the basket. selfish bastards!!!

will you go hunting for more Metros?

will you buy a daily record (£2. you have £5 on you)

will you nick a paper?

or will you abandon the paper idea and go to the job centre?

or will you go online?

[maisi]

Hm yeah, a really really odd looking bloke in the mirror I mused, as I hallucinated in my mind- which doesn't count diagnostically, btw

I am not buying a paper when there should be free ones about and people only want the sudoku page anyway, plus something to hide their blushes when their eyes accidentally meet yet again on the 7.45 with that fine figure of a commuter in his fetching lycra and cycling helmet....look, there's bound to be a paper around, even if I have to fish one out of a bin, is the main thing.

If I steal one, the 90 year old Bengali lady in the shop will turn out to be a knife wielding killer, I know this game now, you're not tricking me.

[maisi]

Machete wielding, let's have some variety

[andthistoomustpass]

Hey! Nowt odd looking about me,

[sirhugo]

machete wielding old ladies?? nah, that would have been too much effort. I would have just added some points to your criminal record score

You wander the streets of Glasgow looking to skadge a paper, being too much of a skinflint to buy one. Eventually having wasted nearly a full day on this endeavour, you manage to dig a metro out of the bins outside KFC (no chicken before you ask )

after a while and holding in your disgust at the stink on pages, as well as stains that look a lot like semen, you find out there's an open day tomorrow for a call centre job at the SECC.
Unfortunately you have no time for any prep tonight, but you can still go to it tomorrow.

so what do you do for the rest of the evening?

try to get into a hostel?

go shopping?

go to hospital?

go to a soup kitchen?

or retire to the bus station for the night?

[maisi]

Thank you Hugo for that revolting and graphic image (and you attmp ). Like a pair of schoolchildren sometimes. Me I am far too mature to be a bit disappointed to have missed out on criminal record points...

Some of us have open days to attend, and will now presumably have to go with the fragrance of someone with a fetish for that creepy KFC Colonel who looks a bit like Rolph Harris in an apron. I bet there's at least one out there.

I bet the hostel's a dead end, if I've got some money for shopping can I buy a hammock and sleep in the botanic gardens? Or at least a clean top for tomorrow and a toothbrush.

[sirhugo]

if criminal record points are what you are looking for, then I am happy to provide

you only have a £5 to your name so getting a hammock is unlikely

Being a skint bum you very rarely get the opportunity to shop, but what the hell. Today seems like a special day. What goods and services are you after?

weapons?

bedding?

food?

booze?

clothes?

[maisi]

Have you never heard of charity shops?
Can I steal a hammock, not get caught, but still have criminal points?
I'm maybe thinking weapons and back to the soup kitchen