I have suffered with anxiety and depression for about 20 years now and having attempted suicide a few times about 8 years ago I finally got some help through CBT. From there I’ve had some decent coping mechanisms to avoid falling back into any feelings of self harm but have still been really edgy in terms of my emotions; ie feeling depressed and especially anxious.
For a long time I have self medicated using alcohol, not too excessively, but drinking a couple of times a week.
Recently I quit drinking and started to take Setraline as my anxiety reached a peak. I was really, really struggling and decided that rather than make things worse I would get some tablets to help.
Generally I am up and down in terms of energy levels (sometimes you can’t shut me up other times you can’t get a word out of me) and these energy levels fluctuate throughout the day. My days are generally filled with panic (they’re talking about me when I’m out of the room, I’ve done something wrong, my partner is going to leave me, etc)
What I have noticed since taking my Setraline is that I don’t have these peaks and troughs in energy, not these detrimental thoughts. The latter is great but the former feels alien.
I feel almost ‘numb’. Maybe ‘level’ is a better word for it. My mood is consistent. I just wanted to know... is this how normal people feel day to day? It almost feels boring.