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How to ease my anxious wife?

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
galders38
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2020 4:01 pm

How to ease my anxious wife?

Postby galders38 » Sun Feb 23, 2020 4:10 pm

Hello all, first time poster here.

My wife has suffered with anxiety and depression for nearly all her life. She has a tendency to assume the absolute worst possible outcome is going to happen and/or extrapolating one historically awful outcome as the inevitable result of a (IMO) extremely tenuous similarity.

I'm struggling to contend with one now. She's got a great new job which has loads of travel so she's actually not doing so bad for the time being, but while her depression seems to be under control for now her anxiety is manifesting almost as a compensation for that, maybe?

Anyway, two incidences - she's in Rwanda right now and went to visit the Nyamata Genocide Memorial. She's quite justifiably horrified and outraged, but she's now making dark comments that Brexit will lead to just the same to happen in the UK.

And secondly, two of her friends who are with her were having a casual conversation about the TV show Chernobyl, and got into discussing nuclear waste disposal, and apparently they were very casually throwing around gallows humour about how it's pointless to deal with as we'll all be dead in a hundred years time.

I mean...how am I supposed to support/counter on that? In the first instance, I just want to flatly contradict her. Political opinions aside, I find the comparison between Brexit and a major tribal/racial war that went on for years to be absurd on one side and kind of insulting to Rwandans on the other, but I know I can't say that to my wife, as it would be deeply hurtful, dismissive, and ignorant of her feelings.

On the other, I genuinely don't think we'll all be dead in a hundred years time, but when I try to offer a counter to such doom and gloom I can virtually hear her rolling her eyes that I'm some kind of naive moron.

But at the same time I can't just let her carry on believing those things.

What can I do?

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