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New to group and don’t know what to do

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
bestrong
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2020 12:30 pm

New to group and don’t know what to do

Postby bestrong » Wed Feb 05, 2020 1:38 pm

Hi All
I’m new to this forum. I’ve been with my wife for 10 years and we have 2 amazing boys. My wife has been suffering with depression for a few years now and has finally sought out help. She is currently changing her medication because what she was on stopped working so things are worse at the moment. She has now been to CBT therapy twice. I have no idea how I can help her or what I should do for the best. Is there any light at the end of the tunnel does anyone have any success stories to give me some hope. She doesn’t have any self esteem feels a failure no motivation etc etc. How do you all cope with it I’m 100% there for her but at times it’s just so bloody hard and exhausting I find myself dreaming about what it would be like for us all to be happy just for one day. Sorry for the rant I have no one to talk to

betterinrecovery
Posts: 605
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: New to group and don’t know what to do

Postby betterinrecovery » Thu Feb 06, 2020 1:45 pm

Dear Bestrong,
it is hard and exhausting, just ask my husband.
Things do get better,
I like to have a bit of a think,
let me do that and then a can post a fuller reply.
Best Regards
B

rsxo
Posts: 1245
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: New to group and don’t know what to do

Postby rsxo » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:10 pm

Welcome!x You're already doing a great job on the road to recovery - going to the doctor and getting CBT and medication are so important in getting mental health back on track. A lot of people recover from mental health issues, and combining CBT and medication is the most effective method to doing so! I know it's hard to see her struggling, and it's important that you're able to talk to someone about how you feel through this - there are services like Samaritans and 7 Cups of Tea that can help you out too. Wish you both the best <3
RSxo <3

betterinrecovery
Posts: 605
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: New to group and don’t know what to do

Postby betterinrecovery » Sat Feb 08, 2020 8:19 pm

Dear Rsxo,
thank you, I was trying to think of what to say - but you have said it.

Dear bestrong,
I can only add that recovery takes time, and it is also possible for the depression to return (just the nature of things unfortunately) and so we try different types of meds at different doses.
Also the new meds can take a few weeks to become effective, if only there was an instant cure!

I look at things from a healing perspective, rather than fixing the problem, there are so many ways that we can help the healing along, aromatherapy, yoga, gentle and not so gentle exercise, planning nice events, but recognising that there will be rubbish days too..
.... Mindfulness meditation can help - there are many books available ( Ruby Wax writes an accessible one, and there is Mindfulness through Depression by Jon kabbat-Zin et al).

Depression affects the concentration, so, for someone in the mist of the depressions a very simple book like 'I had a black dog' may be helpful.
for the person who can concentrate/ or does not have the depressions so much 'The Compassionate Mind' by Paul Gilbert is a good idea ( helps us understand why humans get the depressions and how to go easy on ourselves) it looks like a tome but can be dipped in or try the audio book version.

I hope there are more good days than difficult days for your wife and you and your children,
with best wishes,
B

bestrong
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2020 12:30 pm

Re: New to group and don’t know what to do

Postby bestrong » Thu Feb 13, 2020 1:35 pm

Thank you so much for your replies it’s good to know that there are people that understand. I’m trying to work out ways that I can help her build up her self esteem and self confidence xx


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