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helping others

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
katyia
Posts: 284
Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2019 10:10 pm

helping others

Postby katyia » Fri Nov 22, 2019 2:26 am

I have a forum friend I have had for some months now
on another forum
I like her very much and I seem to have taken on the idea
that I can help her , she has bpd
and most evenings there is some sort of crisis going on with her
that I will engage with

she reminds me very much of my younger self
and is young enough to be my daughter ( she is an adult though )

im a bit in the dark sometimes
as to whether I'm leading her in the right direction or not
I used to self harm like her
but since I had hospital in 2013, I have not harmed again

recently I describe how that situation came to rock bottom
thinking that would help her
and instead she seemed to go and do a worse self harm

so I wondered if she had thought I was glorifying it

im diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia
but I would say my treatment has been very successful
for me to be taking this on

hyster
Posts: 227
Joined: Thu May 16, 2019 3:35 pm
Location: Coventry

Re: helping others

Postby hyster » Fri Nov 22, 2019 12:47 pm

welcome back :D

i think getting support from some1 that has been through the same problems is a great idea, u can talk 1st hand about shared experiences / problems so should help u both.

katyia
Posts: 284
Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2019 10:10 pm

Re: helping others

Postby katyia » Fri Nov 22, 2019 8:22 pm

hey thanks Hyster !

yes its great actually
I just wonder if I'm getting it wrong for her
and I regularly remind her that I'm not a professional
but how would anyone know the difference ?

I probably sound like one after 35 years of therapy and support groups !
and yet I'm not specifically trained in bpd

x x x

hyster
Posts: 227
Joined: Thu May 16, 2019 3:35 pm
Location: Coventry

Re: helping others

Postby hyster » Fri Nov 22, 2019 9:16 pm

the way i deal with that is....

in my experience ..... but may not work for u
the way i deal with it is ..... but may not work for u

so basically say how u handled things, they may decide it could work for them or lead to another idea

katyia
Posts: 284
Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2019 10:10 pm

Re: helping others

Postby katyia » Fri Nov 22, 2019 11:45 pm

thanks Hyster, yes I suppose that is all I can do

maybe I should stick to forum guidelines in my pm as well

I said I ended up in hospital
because my self harming lead to gbh
and that now I cant walk very well

that was in 2013

I wonder if that was too much information for her

hyster
Posts: 227
Joined: Thu May 16, 2019 3:35 pm
Location: Coventry

Re: helping others

Postby hyster » Fri Nov 22, 2019 11:57 pm

im a firm believer in as much info as possible but i know some people can have to much especially when they have mental issues.
if u have been talking for a while maybe u have a sense of how she will take it ?? or tell her all the self harm u regret as it never helped but made it worse.

but bare in mind if she thinks ur lying to her or holding back then she may lose trust in u so its a fine balance of enough info to be of use but not to overload. not an easy task!

katyia
Posts: 284
Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2019 10:10 pm

Re: helping others

Postby katyia » Sat Nov 23, 2019 12:22 am

thankyou Hyster

yes like a tightrope !
yes I didnt tell her all the details of what I did
nobody on forums knows exactly what happened
I can see why because there are sites
where people share details and it gives people ideas

I think the thing is to discuss the reasons behind the harm
rather than the actual harm itself

I think I will also benefit
from answering posts in this sub forum !

x x x

prycejosh1987
Posts: 246
Joined: Sat Jul 18, 2020 3:30 pm

Re: helping others

Postby prycejosh1987 » Sat Jul 18, 2020 6:19 pm

Address the underlying issues that are causing her to self harm. Good luck, in her and youself.


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