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Step Parent

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
stepmum
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2019 10:44 am

Step Parent

Postby stepmum » Tue Nov 12, 2019 10:54 am

Hi everyone, I have a blended family - me, my partner and his 2 boys. The boys are preteen and young teen but I've been in their life since they were young. Things have always been hard due to how their mum treated me when I first came on to the scene and due to differing parenting styles in our house and their mums house, but as the boys are getting older it's getting worse and worse and they seem to dislike me more and more. Sometimes I wonder if my partner would be better off if we weren't together, maybe his kids would like spending more time with him then; but we are a great team and love each other ridiculously, our only problems are those surrounding the kids. Honestly don't know what to do anymore, or how to make things better. Is anyone else in a similar position, or has got through something similar successfully?

hyster
Posts: 227
Joined: Thu May 16, 2019 3:35 pm
Location: Coventry

Re: Step Parent

Postby hyster » Tue Nov 12, 2019 3:00 pm

i have been on both sides of this as a step kid (he was my moms boyfriend not step dad or me step kid) and a step father.

my mom got with him when i was 10, long story short i was always in "trouble" and got permanently grounded (only allowed out of my bedroom for school, bathroom and washing up) for 18 months till i went to live with my dad. it left me withdrawn and agitated being around people, i prefer to be alone.

as a step dad i swore id never be a cu*t and treat my step kids right, i never acted as a father to them but more as a friend, always there when they needed something.
i got luck with there real dad as he didnt try to cause trouble, after a few years he stopped trying hard with them as he got a new step family.

9 years after i split with there mom they still see me as a step dad and we see each other regularly.

biggest advice i can suggest is dt be a step mum but more a friend, try and find something for just u and the kids, like with my youngest step daughter it was going to a cafe on a sat morning for a fry up,

prycejosh1987
Posts: 246
Joined: Sat Jul 18, 2020 3:30 pm

Re: Step Parent

Postby prycejosh1987 » Sat Jul 18, 2020 6:23 pm

The best thing to do is try and create a bond with these children, and use your partner as a middle man. Naturally if you helped the children grow up they should be bonding with you and considering you a mother figure. I wish you good luck.


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