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Hi all. Need some advice. 18M

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anon123
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2019 7:41 am

Hi all. Need some advice. 18M

Postby anon123 » Thu Nov 07, 2019 7:54 am

Hi there guys. This is a really big thing for me and i have never done anything like this before, so any help would be appreciated.

So, a bit of context.
I am soon to be 19, and, i've never had a girlfriend.
So my big issue is that, im getting worried that that should have changed by now. I would consider myself a pretty average guy, I would say im pretty average looking, above average body, and I like to keep myself well groomed, and hygenic etc. I would consider myself compatible with most people, i dont have ridiculously high standards or anything.
I'm posting here anonymously because, I dont think any of my friends or family would take me seriously. My parents have the old-scholl mentality that men shouldnt talk about their feelings etc,
and my sister and "friends" would just laugh at me it I opened up to them, and they tease me consistently for being a virgin.
I would consider myself a pretty quiet guy, never actively going out looking to hook up with anyone.
I have had few platonic friendships with women, but I cant seem to develop a romantic connection with any of them. Anyway, i wanted to hear some of your thoughts on this.
Am i just being silly and will find people down the road or am i looking at this wrong and have the wrong mindset?
Any help/guidance would be appreciated.
TIA

tomg
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Oct 30, 2019 3:12 pm

Re: Hi all. Need some advice. 18M

Postby tomg » Tue Nov 12, 2019 4:57 pm

Don't worry, you're not being silly. I'm 22 and I've never been in a serious relationship. I felt like you recently, until a girl came my way and we started chatting. Things work out in time. Some people get into relationships early, other people do it quite late. It will happen when the timings right.

Keep going x

rsxo
Posts: 1312
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: Hi all. Need some advice. 18M

Postby rsxo » Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:50 pm

Hey :)

I appreciate that this is a big deal for you, and many others around your age - it can feel like so many others around you have had, or are in, relationships, so you wonder when things will happen for you, naturally! Also appreciate that it's hard for you to talk about (well done for coming on here and discussing it, it's really brave!), but know that this is a safe space to talk about this :)

I personally think that you can be great in every way, but you need to let people know in some way that you're available and looking (not directly though haha!). It may be that people think you're not interested because you're quiet - not to say that being quiet is bad in any way (it's not!), but that perhaps others don't know that you're interested in them, or available? Either way, I think waiting and hoping for things to change isn't always a great idea, because nothing may happen and then you've let time just pass by, when you could be doing something about it.

One way that worked for one of my friends, is that if you get a friend you trust to introduce you a girl. It could be set up as a date, or perhaps you meet up as a larger group and spend a little time getting to them that way, and then develop from there. I know it sounds a little strange, but many people get married to someone they know, either as a friend, or through a friend etc. If you trust your friend to help you out (especially if they are more social and know girls etc), then that could be a way to go forward. I don't know if you are part of any social clubs (e.g. sports, faith), but that can be a good way to meet people too. Hope all goes well!x

Much love <3
RSxo <3

prycejosh1987
Posts: 246
Joined: Sat Jul 18, 2020 3:30 pm

Re: Hi all. Need some advice. 18M

Postby prycejosh1987 » Sat Jul 18, 2020 6:21 pm

I learnt that the way of not being friend zoned is to work on being more intimate with your chosen friend.


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