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Husband

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
marie
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2019 12:59 pm

Husband

Postby marie » Thu Sep 19, 2019 1:06 pm

Hi

I am new to here and am looking for some help.

My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years and I love him dearly. We have always had a really good relationship with no cause for concern.

He has recently told me he felt quite alone as my attention has been elsewhere on my children. And that the more he felt like this the more he isolated himself, and now he thinks he has shut off his feelings for me. He said he loves me but isn't in love with me. This was devastating news and was a complete surprise. After speaking further it was clear there was something wrong with him and I convinced him to go to doctor, which I went with him too, and they have diagnosed him with depression and started him on Floexetine. He also starts counselling next week. He says he wants to stay at home, but cant retract what he said to me as he can only focus on getting better. He is still asking me for hugs, and wants to walk the dogs together etc... all of which is so confusing as I am completely heart broken.

What are your experiences with this? Is it due to the depression?

How long on the medication before it starts to work?

I am just looking to get more of an insight into this and any similar experiences you have had.

hyster
Posts: 182
Joined: Thu May 16, 2019 3:35 pm
Location: Coventry

Re: Husband

Postby hyster » Thu Sep 19, 2019 1:20 pm

hey and welcome,

ive heard of this before, seems its pretty common with a new baby. try reading this site, may help or at least give u idea's.

https://www.babygaga.com/7-confessions- ... -newborns/

marie
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2019 12:59 pm

Re: Husband

Postby marie » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:22 pm

My children are aged 17 and 13. So no new baby here :-( These kids are not his, he is their step dad.

minniemoo
Posts: 83
Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 10:32 pm

Re: Husband

Postby minniemoo » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:43 pm

I wouldn’t worry too much about what he said. I’ve said it to my husband before when we were going through a hard patch. I felt like I meant it at the time but the in love feelings did come back. A year later and things are better than when we first married as we have worked through the issues. He’s said an awful thing before too and we have recovered. Your husband did say he loves you so that’s a good starting point.

It’s great that you encouraged him and supported him in getting the help he needs.

Depression makes us feel isolated / detached / unloved so it could be that.

If the worst happens, feelings don’t return and you have to split I’m sure you will be ok in time x

minniemoo
Posts: 83
Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 10:32 pm

Re: Husband

Postby minniemoo » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:47 pm

By the way hugs, walking the dogs, focussing on recovery.. this all sounds like a very good way he is dealing with it, I think you should feel reassured about that.

But you need support too so use online forums, see a friend, take a bubble bath etc x

hyster
Posts: 182
Joined: Thu May 16, 2019 3:35 pm
Location: Coventry

Re: Husband

Postby hyster » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:51 pm

it may still be along them lines.

when i got with my ex she had 2 girls (10-14), i was the 1 that did everything for them, swimming, movies, chats about boy friends, taught them both to drive, helped them through college / uni, money, lifts near every day, took them for drives in the country when they felt down .......
more than both there mom and dad.

there dad was next to useless, never even gave child support, rarely seen, call or txt them.
he got all there love yet i seemed to be taken for granted, always felt like i was there just to do the donkey work while he got the benefits.

left me feeling used and isolated like i was only there to be a chauffeur. i know they did love and appreciate me but that feeling has never gone away even tho its been 20 years and i not been with there mom for 8 years, i still keep in touch but now months go by with out hearing from the, probs as both are now married with there own kids and to busy.

tantan004
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Sep 23, 2019 4:10 pm

Re: Husband

Postby tantan004 » Mon Sep 23, 2019 4:44 pm

Hi,

I also had depression before, I didn't know what to do, I felt like no one would understand me, I was losing weight and I was thinking of ending my life. But I didn't know I was suddenly weeping and I suddenly called the name of the Lord and asked for help. I don't know why but after calling the Lord's name, I felt something. After a few weeks and months, the feeling I had in my heart and in my mind was gone, I don't know why but for me if it was the Lord I would be so grateful.


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