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Relationship issues with partner

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
slothlady
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon May 20, 2019 1:23 pm

Relationship issues with partner

Postby slothlady » Mon May 20, 2019 1:26 pm

Hi

Apologies if this is in the wrong place - first time poster! Please do move to the appropriate place if needed.

My partner has been suffering from depression for some time now, and was when we first started dating a little over 8 months ago. Our relationship has been great, we’ve connected and bonded. Things have been wonderful.

A few weeks ago, he started to come off Effexor and was put onto fluoxetine at the end of the tapering down. He didn’t get on well with this and so came off the fluoxetine. He was without meds for a couple weeks but then started on citalopram at the beginning of April. A couple of weeks later, he tells me that he isn’t sure of us, that he doesn’t know if it is how he feels or his medication. We have been working on things and things seem better but I’m not sure if they really are. He said a few weeks ago that he feels like we should end but at the same time he doesn’t want to risk throwing away something that’s been so good.
The last couple of days I’ve been looking into it more and think this change in him could be due to the citalopram. I read the patient leaflet and a common side effect is reduction in emotions and indifference. Further reading online of both academic articles and forums like these show that citalopram (and other ssri’s) can cause this ‘emotional blunting’.
I find it too much of a coincidence that he feels he doesn’t know if he loves me romantically or not or just as friend around the time he started on the citalopram, when things were great beforehand (although he did come across as quiet and more withdrawn when he was not on any meds, he didn’t say what he has now).
I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this with their partner, and if there was anything else I could do other than continue to support him and tell him I love him still, even though he hasn’t said it back this week (has done previous to this week). Can emotional blunting get better or is this it? I believe he’s on 20mg. The dr hasn’t wanted to increase his dose as he has underlying skin itching which I believe the doctor is worried may stem from something even though it started weeks before the citalopram. Thank you

dundarach
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2019 8:20 pm

Re: Relationship issues with partner

Postby dundarach » Tue Jun 11, 2019 8:29 pm

Hello, just wanted to say I've read your post and sorry for what you and your partner are going through.

Is it worth asking the GP?

Do let us know how things are going.

jjnic1102
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Jun 24, 2019 11:10 am

Re: Relationship issues with partner

Postby jjnic1102 » Mon Jun 24, 2019 11:20 am

Hi, firstly I would just like to say I am so sorry for what you’re going through and please believe me when I say I know exactly how you’re feeling. My wife started on citalopram about 3 months ago and has said since then she loves me but doesn’t feel love for me any more! We have been Together for 9 years married for almost 7 and for the centre of my universe to tell me she no longer feels love for me has actually destroyed me. Luckily I have managed to get her to ring the gp to have her meds changed so she now takes mirtazapine. Now it’s just a waiting game to see if she starts to feel anything. I read up on citalopram and loss of emotion is one of the side effects!! Call me selfish but when I spoke to her about how she feels (or doesn’t as the case may be) she has said she feels the same about everyone..... I asked if her dad was to drop down would she be hurt and she said no so at least I know it’s not just me she feels nothing for. This is genuinely the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. So as much as I’m here to support others it’s nice knowing I now have somewhere to vent. You’re not alone in this. And again I’m so sorry you’re feeling the same way as me because by god does this suck!!! Sending love xx


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