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Understanding ptsd and anxiety

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
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Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2019 3:00 pm

Understanding ptsd and anxiety

Postby skye2658 » Fri Feb 22, 2019 3:12 pm

Hi everyone. I have a partner who suffers from ptsd and anxiety and have been seeing them for a year. Sometimes things are great and other times he can be really down. He gets stressed easily and resorts to hiding no communication with anyone for days. He regularly suggests ending the relationship so i can find someone "normal" and believes he doesn't deserve to be loved and that he should be alone. He goes hot and cold on a daily basis and if i use the wrong words can set him off into jealousy and despair. He also has major abandonment issues so regularly pushes me away and distances himself from everyone so that if anyone leaves it because of his behaviour not because they want to. He will ignore my texts for days and days but if i dont reply to 1 in an hour i get a message telling me to have a good life. I love him but cant help wondering sometimes whether his behaviour means he doesnt love me the same way? Or whether he does and doesnt know how to show it or how to allow himself to show it. Im really just looking for advice on how to act during this. Do i be there or leave him alone and let him come to me? Do i ignore the jealousy or do i say its not acceptable to accuse me all the time? I fear that the walls he has built means we cant get closer than this as he wont let me in. Thanks for reading.

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Joined: Sat Oct 27, 2018 6:02 pm

Re: Understanding ptsd and anxiety

Postby robin71 » Mon Mar 18, 2019 9:23 pm

If there are things you don't like, you can say, you can set boundaries. Obviously be calm and consistent, explain how these things make you feel, as much as what the 'rules' are.

The illness is a bit separate from his personality and at the same time connected, learn about the condition as much as you can. You don't really want to be on eggshells, try to be a rock live at your tempo so that you are just there for him.

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