We dated for 3 months - I know that isn't long, but the connection was meaningful and genuine for both of us. 2 1/2 months in, as the physical side of the relationship progressed, things broke down. He was triggered during sex & told me he was abused as a child (I was the first person he had ever told). Afterwards he said he'd like to take things slowly physically, which I was happy with - but things broke down after that.
He admitted he was in therapy for depression as he had just remembered the abuse 7 months before we met. He was experiencing PTSD symptoms, would sometimes have panic attacks & struggled with personal hygiene on some days. But we were falling in love & I stuck by him although I know he felt embarrassed when I saw him in a state sometimes. Finally he pushed me away so much that I wasn't able to continue as things were. I felt I was being vulnerable & I never knew if I was coming or going. He said he didn't know he could commit to a serious relationship right now & asked if we could 'be friends' for now.
I was hurt, but I agreed. For 2 months we've been 'friends'. He calls often, initiates meeting often, brings me gifts - but it's not always simple. Example: he invited me to the theatre last week. While we were there a woman approached him & basically jumped into his arms she was so pleased to see him. Turns out they had just met through an anxiety & depression support group 2 weeks earlier. The way he interacted with her reminded me of our early flirtatious interactions - it HURT to watch this. So much. She asked if he wanted to go for a drink & he said no, he was leaving with me - and so we left. But I went home and cried as I thought of him moving on with someone else.
But now I'm thinking the 'friends' thing doesn't work after all. We had a passionate relationship while we were together - not being able to kiss him or hold his hand doesn't quite feel 'normal'. But I also recognise his limitations right now. He is a good & sensitive soul, who cares for me & supports me. I am afraid to lose him, but I am also not sure if I can continue with this right now. What do you all think?