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Struggling with husband's lack of emotion

Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2019 11:31 pm
by jerty20
Hi
I am new on here and could do with some help and advice.
My husband has been struggling with stress and anxiety at work. He's been working an office job for years until 11pm a lot of the time and that along with being heavily involved in a voluntary job on top of this has taken its toll. He started suffering panic attacks and had episodes of feeling spaced out. He's also experienced chest pains. Thankfully he's realised he's struggling and things have to change and the company he works for have arranged some counselling sessions which he has been attending. I find it strange that the counsellor has told him not to talk about the sessions as I thought it was good to talk about these things. Is this not the case? He has also been to the doctor but not got much help from them.

He's now signed off work for 4 weeks and has been occupying his time going out with his Dad and his friends playing golf, etc but nothing seems to involve me. When I ask him about doing things together he suggests the gym where we dont actually spend any quality time together. He tells me he's struggling with the physical/emotional side of things but seems to manage to hug our kids and be happy/chatty with them.

To be honest I have felt like a one parent family with a lodger as he's so distant. New year's day was very upsetting for me as we spent it at his parents and where we would normally sit together on the sofa or hand in hand at the table we had no physical contact whatsoever.
We have spoken about it but he just says he finds it difficult. I am beginning to feel that maybe work isn't the only problem he has and maybe I am also part of the problem although we have always been a strong team in the past.
Has anyone else experienced this or is it part and parcel of what he's going through?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

Re: Struggling with husband's lack of emotion

Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 10:30 pm
by robin71
Hi J
Welcome to the forum.
Normally I would expect the talking about therapy to be optional.

There is alot more to your relationship than sone of the others you mention, therefore could be more affected by stress.

Also things can become divisive he may feel claustrophobic rather than invited to share time with you, not your fault it's just difficult to know what interaction he is open to, and what needes more time.

But also what might be difficult is that there may be somethings that he would like, but that he is embarrassed to ask for, but don't jump on him.
Robin