First step, errm there is an elephant in this chat room?
Also my wife has ocd, so there is a phrase about doing things that you are scared of, it's a blunt instrument so I apologise for using it on you. Feel the fear and do it any way. Your wife has asked you to do it, get something booked. Then tell her, and that might be a good time to say that your worried about her high energy episode.
I don't think it is needy, it must feel like she is about to pull the rug out from under you.
Listen carefully is she saying you are needy or is she saying that she is tired of circular discussion?.
You could write down a list of your fears, needinesses, And ask her to write 'I understand' which I assume she does, then you might be able to park them in a draw or something.