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Anyone got their partner to pack in work so they can focus on their MH problems?

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Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2018 3:30 pm

Anyone got their partner to pack in work so they can focus on their MH problems?

Postby jessi » Wed Sep 19, 2018 3:48 pm

Hi all,

Reaching out for some support as I'm feeling stuck. Hope I'm in the right place :)

My husband has been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and complex PTSD. He has severe mental health problems and has had them as long as he can remember due to a terrible childhood which carried on throughout his education and worklife. He's 31.

He's tried going through the NHS for support 3 times, so we went private and that seems to be the way to go for us. He's been to counselling, which helped to some extent. He's recently started going through EMDR therapy and his psychiatrist has prescribed him 40mg Citalopram which he's been on for a couple of months.

He tried to start a new job on Monday. He managed to complete the day but on Tuesday he woke up in a complete state. I don't think he was ready to go back to work. I honestly thought he was going to kill himself.

We're both trying to tell as many people as we can about his problems so we can build a support network for him.

What I'm trying to say is: we are doing something about it! :)

So, why I'm here. My husband is the most intelligent, compassionate and wonderful person I've ever met, but he wants to die. He thinks he's a failure and a waste of time. I think he needs time to fully adjust to his medication and go through his therapy.

My suggestion has been for him to quit work altogether and I will pay all the bills etc (we're lucky to be in a position to just about be able to do that). We can then look at getting him back to work when he's ready.

Has anyone here been in a position where they've been entirely financially responsible for a household where their partner is too depressed to work? We don't have children so thankfully we don't have to worry about that.

But I don't even know where to start. If he quits his job, I'm guessing we need to inform HMRC or something like that? If anyone could point me in the direction of some resources that would help, I would be hugely grateful :)

I'm on medication for depression and anxiety myself, but have been for 1.5 years so they've fully taken effect. However this is still taking its toll on me. If anyone has their own stories to share around this sort of thing, any advice or pointers, that would be really useful :)

Thank you :)

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Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: Anyone got their partner to pack in work so they can focus on their MH problems?

Postby christabel » Fri Sep 21, 2018 7:06 pm

Hi jessi

Sorry I can't be of much help but just wanted to acknowledge your post.

Judging by what you have said you husbands depression is very bad at the moment. You will know yourself when you are depressed your mind tells you all these negatives about yourself.

I hope you and your husband find the help you need and bless you for trying. Never give up. Take care. Chris

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Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2018 4:22 pm

Re: Anyone got their partner to pack in work so they can focus on their MH problems?

Postby capitalt » Sat Sep 22, 2018 9:59 am

Perhaps speak with MIND, they may be able to help or point you in the right direction.
In the mean time perhaps he can claim ESA, which I guess he has been doing.
Maybe some light volunteering work would help ease him back.
Good luck.

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