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Would really appreciate some advice

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
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Joined: Thu Jul 12, 2018 9:48 pm

Would really appreciate some advice

Postby nat004 » Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:16 pm

I have been with my partner now for 6 years, from the beginning I was aware that he struggled with mental health but in the first year or so it was always manageable. In the last few years it has become more and more difficult, his depression, mood swings, anxietys and breakdowns are more intense and more frequente. I have managed to get him to attended CBT treatment about two years ago, that didn't really work, we are now in the process of getting a referral to our local mental health team, but it's taking weeks and he won't go to private therapy again as he says it's a waste of time and money. He hasn't worked since February, and spends most of his day in bed on his phone and unless I bring him food he won't really eat. I'm really trying to be patient and understanding, I do really love him but I'm starting to feel like I'm stuck and suffocating. I'm 27 , I want a family and children but I don't know if this is ever going to get better, and I am at the point where I don't know what to do, I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with this?

Any advice would be really great x

Posts: 37
Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2017 5:25 pm

Re: Would really appreciate some advice

Postby lucym » Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:08 am

Sorry things are so hard for you and your partner, it sounds really tough. I’ve been there and it’s no picnic.
I’m not sure what I can advise cos I’m in an almost identical situation but I guess all the usual things: give him support, listen, have boundaries about how much you can do and look after yourself. Letting him know that you’re there and that you love him is of course really important but the last two are as well.
It might be that you decide you can’t stay in the relationship- you have needs too- in which case you need to be really honest with yourself. That doesn’t mean ultimatums or anything, but just thinking about what you want and if the relationship is working.
I really hope he gets some good care quickly and something that helps at that. Waiting for it is awful, it feels interminable. And I really hope you get some respite too x

Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 10:49 pm

Re: Would really appreciate some advice

Postby hopesanddreams » Sat Jul 14, 2018 5:59 pm

That sounds really difficult for you. I have experienced similar but my husband’s low moods only tend to last a few days at
A time, and that’s hard enough to manage. As the other poster said, make sure you look after yourself too. Let him know you are there for him but try not to let his mood drag you down. I find trying to carry on as best as “normal” helps to keep me sane, even though it’s the last thing I feel like doing. But if you get sucked into the negativity it’s not good for either of you.

I really hope he gets some help soon, it’s really positive that he’s open to getting help so try and hold onto that. Wishing you all the best and please do post here if you need someone to talk to.

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