Husbands depression affecting our family

[edieb]

Hi, this is my first time here and I’m struggling with what to say, mainly because I have to actually say it out loud!
My husband has only just been diognosed officially but he has clearly been suffering a while. It’s got worse since we’ve had our children.
He has always been pretty moody though which is what we always thought it was he was just a bit of a grump but as it’s got worse I forced him to go to the Drs.
I know it’s the illness but he’s becoming so hard to live with, he is so miserable and grumpy and moody and snaps and shouts at our 3 year old all the time. He takes no pleasure at all from him and often ignores him and our new baby. He is quite aggressive and we argue alit.
I want to support him but I struggle to know where his depression starts and his personality stops. I’m finding it really hard to want to be around him at the moment. He is no help at all with the kids m, won’t get up at night with the baby or do anything for them and when I complain (he’s always been this way) he gets angry and says I should understand and support him because he finds the children too difficult.

I don’t even think there is any advice anyone can offer I’m just ranting really.

[lilliep]

Hi Edieb

Welcome to the forum. Feel free to rant here, we all do and there are plenty of people who understand and will listen.

Is your husband on any medication?

Take care

Lillie x

[edieb]

Thank you!
He isn’t st the moment no, he doesn’t want to take anything yet. He has rather an addictive personality so
I was pretty supportive of him not being on pills but wondering now if that was a mistake.

[lilliep]

Hi

In my experience if he won’t get help things won’t get better. I know antidepressants aren’t nice but they do help. My man wouldn’t get help, he said the tablets made his brain fuzzy, but he only took 2 and didn’t give them even a chance to help. He tried counselling but didn’t really engage with it and to be fair the counsellor was a bit rubbish.

It’s really tough dealing with this and it must be worse for you having children to protect from it as well. The lack of empathy makes these people say and do hurtful things.

Maybe encourage him to seek help, if he will them that’s a bonus I think. Most of all look after yourself.

Take care

Lillie x