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If anxiety was a man.... I'd push it off a cliff.

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
popping-candy
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 9:58 pm

If anxiety was a man.... I'd push it off a cliff.

Postby popping-candy » Thu Apr 05, 2018 11:06 pm

Hello to you all, I'm a first time poster so be kind please. my life in a little nutshell is mother of 2, sufferer of anxiety and carer of my fiance that trumps my own mental health with depression and anxiety.

I guess I'm just wondering if any of you guys get really, sick of this bastard illness that effects us and our families. If someone is mean or needy to you because of their own unfortunate personality we would distance ourselves from them, but when it's the workings of our not so friendly pal - anxiety, you're not meant to feel angry or pissed off with your partner because then you would be a giant cow.

I sit between angry and guilty a lot of the time. My partner can't help being ill and I want to be supportive but when it's the fifth breakdown in so many weeks it becomes so exhausting (there's me sounding like that cow I mentioned I expect.)

As I already said I suffer with anxiety myself, I've recently been given some beta blockers to go alongside my citalopram for a little party combination as I could feel it escalating. The trouble is when my anxiety is high you can guarantee my partners will trigger and then I have to push mine right back down like the British stiff upper lip and support him.

Im not resentful, I love him so I'll always do it but sometimes it would be nice to have someone do the same for me and take time to look at my feelings... Here comes that guilt I said about, as I shouldn't make it about me.

So to stop my ramblings of a sleep deprived mummy and a carer of a struggling partner,I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else hates mental health with a passion and feels the same, or am I just too many nights without sleep and on my own in thinking this?

sirhugo
Posts: 631
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: If anxiety was a man.... I'd push it off a cliff.

Postby sirhugo » Fri Apr 06, 2018 6:14 pm

I can guarantee you that anyone who every suffered from any form of mental health issue hates it with a burning passion. I suffer from depression myself and if depression was a dog, id have it put down :)

The guilt about "not being supportive enough" seems to be a common feeling. as does the anger and frustration at your partner. my own girlfriend just recently broke down in tears and told me she was struggling to cope with how distant, moody and selfish id had been. it damn near broke my heart as I had no idea she felt that way

it knows it really difficult, but try not to feel guilty. your only human and you have your own problems. even if your partners illness is worse than yours, surely you still deserve some support from him?

all the best

popping-candy
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 9:58 pm

Re: If anxiety was a man.... I'd push it off a cliff.

Postby popping-candy » Fri Apr 06, 2018 10:14 pm

So how sad that the fact someone replied has really cheered me up and not just a reply but an equally sadistic response to our hatred of mental health, with the dog analogy so hats off!

Thank you, so much for just acknowledging my message. I'm sorry to hear that you and your partner are having a tough time too.

To add, if depression was teenager it would have acute body odour.

sirhugo
Posts: 631
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: If anxiety was a man.... I'd push it off a cliff.

Postby sirhugo » Sat Apr 07, 2018 11:18 am

if depression was a car id have it written off :D this is fun :)

your welcome and im glad I cheer you up even a bit. I feel it really helps that there are others out there who get it.

ma and the missus are fine now. it turn out id been concentrating on keeping myself stable and ignoring her needs. we talked it over and were fine now. im just making sure I keep her in mind too now

popping-candy
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 9:58 pm

Re: If anxiety was a man.... I'd push it off a cliff.

Postby popping-candy » Sat Apr 07, 2018 7:39 pm

Yay I'm glad things are good for you both. Do you mind me asking, where you glad that she'd actually said how she felt as I worry that if I say what's on my mind then I'll just make things worse for him.

And of course... If anxiety was a carrot, I'd feed it to a well fed rabbit, so it would take its time over it.

sirhugo
Posts: 631
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: If anxiety was a man.... I'd push it off a cliff.

Postby sirhugo » Wed Apr 11, 2018 5:04 pm

if depression was a terminator id lower into a vat of lava :D

in the end, after id got over the guilt I was glad that should told me how she felt, as it gave the chance to fix it and make her happy. id consider telling him how you feel. even if it doesn't help the situation it might at least help you feel better getting it off your chest

good luck

ldg134
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Feb 23, 2018 12:29 pm

Re: If anxiety was a man.... I'd push it off a cliff.

Postby ldg134 » Thu Apr 12, 2018 11:31 am

hi Popping candy,

I'm loving these analogies. You're not selfish, you're struggling, and that's totally to be expected because you're human. Ps the analogies aren't sadistic, depression is. And it's a disease, not an aspect of personality so I think it's ok to separate them out and tell depression to eff off once in a while. :) My partner suffers with severe anxiety and I've told him once or twice that I love him, he is a wonderful person, but I hate his anxiety because of what it does to him, he knows I'm not talking about him, he knows that like any other illness, it's understandable we want the illnesses, not the people, to bugger off to a hole in the ground. If anxiety was Hans from Die Hard I would push it off a New York building then go celebrate Christmas.

I'm really sorry your anxiety is also so hard, I hope you can find the strength to talk to your partner because being honest about how this is affecting you could be really good for both of you and your relationship. Neither of you has to go through it alone. If it feels like something that might help, could you talk to a councillor, maybe together with relate?

Hope that helps. xxx


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