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Struggling with husbands illness

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
wendyg
Posts: 9
Joined: Thu May 18, 2017 12:07 pm

Struggling with husbands illness

Postby wendyg » Thu May 18, 2017 2:44 pm

Hi,
My husband had a psychotic episode 5 years ago and was diagnosed with psychotic depression. He was well for almost 3 years on medication but then 2 years ago had another episode. Since then he has gone from being a very sociable person to hardly able to leave the house due to anxiety. This has been so difficult for our family as he can no longer watch the children at sports matches, go out to functions or go on holiday. The children, although great, often ask when they are going to get Daddy back.
We tried changing medication 3 months ago but it led to him almost relapsing again. Recently we changed to Quetiapine and we had a week or so where things looked very optimistic, he was showing emotions again and keen to try and go out. However in the last week he has plummeted again. He now needs prompting to eat and wash, isn't communicating or reacting to any of us. He nods his head when spoken to but clearly isn't listening. I don't understand why this has happened or what has happened. He says he is fine when asked and there are no problems but he very clearly isn't.
I am really struggling as I have got to the point that I have lost hope of getting him back and I don't know how much more I can take of him being like this. We have tried everything and it feels like he is giving up getting himself better. We went to see his psychiatrist today ( the third one) and he doesnt want to increase his meds until he's done all the physical health checks but is talking a couple of weeks. This is just so hard.

yea17
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed May 17, 2017 2:42 pm

Re: Struggling with husbands illness

Postby yea17 » Sun May 21, 2017 5:16 pm

Hi
My husband has been diagnosed with clinical depression with suicidal thoughts recently. Hes been out on kedication and also seeing a counsellor however he keeps trying to push me away and not do anything with me.
We dont have any children together but he does have some from previous relationships he only seems to wabt to do somethibg if hes with his daughter.
We seem to have had a couple of good days but i dont know if hes just putting it on saying hes fine but not really he doesnt really talk about it.
I have started to feel the pressure getting stressed and things that wouldnt normally bither me especially at work now do.
Iys a hard thing to struggle with so if you want to tslk i will listen. :)

india
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 9:13 am

Re: Struggling with husbands illness

Postby india » Sun May 21, 2017 5:35 pm

Hi yea17 was your husband in denial at first? How long did it take until he went to the doctors? I've been going through it with my partner of 6 years but he's in denial and it's only getting worse. His brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia in his early twenties and my partner didn't cope well with it, I think this is what triggered it off. This all happened before I met him but now I'm the one that gets blamed for everything and wht hes depressed and he's walked in and out my life since the beginning but when he starts to feel better in himself he comes back and then a few months down the line it's back to square one again. We have two little boys which makes the situation even harder

yea17
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed May 17, 2017 2:42 pm

Re: Struggling with husbands illness

Postby yea17 » Sun May 21, 2017 5:58 pm

Hi India
I think he kept things from his past bottled up ex wife left him broken relationships and money problems due to the ex partners. It seems that its finally all come to the top we havent been married too long and i thought he was happy i cant help thinking i did something that just pushed him over the edge.
He hasnt walked on me but emotionally he keeps pushing me away and i feel ive lost him that way if that makes any sense.

india
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 9:13 am

Re: Struggling with husbands illness

Postby india » Sun May 21, 2017 6:07 pm

Yes it does its like they are numb and they do make you feel like it's your fault. The depression seems to win every time and it speaks louder than feelings. It's good that your husband has now got help hopefully things will start to look up for you and your relationship with him.

wendyg
Posts: 9
Joined: Thu May 18, 2017 12:07 pm

Re: Struggling with husbands illness

Postby wendyg » Sun May 21, 2017 6:43 pm

I think that's a big part of my husbands problem in that I don't think he has ever accepted it is an illness which is causing his problems and just thinks he has a rational anxiety due to the threats to him that are around and about. He has never looked online at his diagnosis, read anything about it or talks about depression. He will say his medication is to help him sleep and I have never heard him admit to someone he has depression. I think now he is trying to distract himself from the fear he has by shutting himself off. I am very worried he is going to become delusional again and I wish there was something I could do to help. It's horrible seeing someone you love suffer and deteriorate like this and them not being able to open up.


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