This sounds tough
very similar to my situation so I can only tell you what I am doing as I am new to this.
We have been together for 18 months. Both mid 30's and have an amazing relationship which includes his relationship with my 13yr old. He has always been up and down album it turns out he hides the down days when he isn't wih me and I just don't hear much from him for a day or two which has caused arguments.
3 weeks ago he said he wanted to move in, try for a baby and save for our own place to buy together. I honestly couldn't have been happier. For the last 2 weeks he has been distance, cold and now telling me he doesn't know if he wants to be with me. Said he isn't a nice person, he will hurt me and needs some space! When he sees me upset he holds me, tells me he loves me and that he doesn't know why he is like this but he is depressed
It's breaking my heart. I just want to bring him back, to life and to me.
The only thing I can do at the moment is reassure him that I am here for him, I love him and I will support him. I am looking for reassurance all the time and that is needy so I have to be careful not to push him away. He is going to his mums tonight so I probably won't hear from him now which will be hard
I would be there for him and hopefully that will make you stronger - that's what I am doing