Search

Support Forum

SANE Support Forum

Friend in crisis and I'm struggling

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
vitafragilis
Posts: 47
Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2015 8:48 pm

Friend in crisis and I'm struggling

Postby vitafragilis » Sat Jul 04, 2015 3:00 pm

I have plenty of problems of my own right now, trying to maintain stability with my mental health.
However, I have a friend who is struggling even more than me. She's just phoned me in really distressed tears because she's self harmed (cut badly) in a public place (a park). I'm at a loss. I've finally got her to call the crisis team so they can get her an ambulance, but I know she doesn't really want to do it. She's going to call me back as soon as she's finished on the phone to crisis. I"m so worried about her and I wish I could do more than just be on the end of the phone. I suggested I go to meet her and take her to the hospital in a taxi, but she got distressed and said she didn't want me to do that. I feel so helpless. She keeps saying she's 'stupid' so I've told her that that's not the case - it's just the emotions that got too much. She told me early morning that she was struggling with self harm urges and I suggested a few things, including going for a brisk walk to get away from temptation. Unfortunately, it seems she did go for the walk but took a blade or something with her.
I'm sick of feeling so helpless. All I can do is be here and talk and listen. But it doesn't feel like enough. I hate this.
When I feel I can't endure, I remind myself that my record for getting through bad days so far is 100%, and that's pretty good.

christabel
Posts: 2110
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: Friend in crisis and I'm struggling

Postby christabel » Sat Jul 04, 2015 3:29 pm

Hi vitafragillis

That's awful. Your poor friend, know wonder you are so upset. Hopefully she will get all the professional help she needs following this dreadful situation. I'm sending all my thoughts to you both and hope you feel the support.
Take care of yourself please, I know it sounds selfish but you will be more help to your friend in the long run if you keep yourself well. Plus we can't make everything in this world go right, you did your best that's all you can do. I know from experience how Ill I ended up by trying to help others, now I make sure I look after myself first. I'm still there for them like you to talk and listen.

Xxx Will you let us know how you both are. Thanks.

vitafragilis
Posts: 47
Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2015 8:48 pm

Re: Friend in crisis and I'm struggling

Postby vitafragilis » Sat Jul 04, 2015 6:54 pm

Thanks Christabel.

My friend has just got home from the hospital. The crisis team told her to stop 'acting up' which hardly seems an appropriate thing to say to someone in distress. She got even more upset and smacked her head off a brick wall. The result? 14 staples in the original wound, plus glue to stick her head back together. Thankfully she's now feeling really calm (after effect of self harm I guess) and I'm confident that she's safe for now.

I know what you mean about needing to look after myself. After reading your message I made myself a mug of salted caramel green tea and hugged a teddy. Then I forced myself to get on with the decorating until I heard from my friend again. There was nothing I could do but wait.
When I feel I can't endure, I remind myself that my record for getting through bad days so far is 100%, and that's pretty good.

christabel
Posts: 2110
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: Friend in crisis and I'm struggling

Postby christabel » Sat Jul 04, 2015 8:25 pm

Hi again

The stupidity of some people. Making matters worse instead of treating your friend with compassion and kindness. God knows what she was going through but that's the so called understanding of mental health workers.
Will she be able to get some help with her problems do you think as she must have been in a very distressed state in the first place. I hope she has access to some proper help.

Hope you have a peaceful night. Try not to let things unsettle you.

Take care xxx


Return to “Family, Friends and Carers”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 14 guests