Page 1 of 1

will he recover?

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 7:51 pm
by myncs
Hi, I'm new to the site. I will try and keep my story as brief ad possible.

I have been with my partner for 8 year's and although our relationship was very turbulent at times, there was always love.
After some time of being unemployed, we decided that he would move back to Wales to set up base and me and my daughter would follow a few months later. That is now one year ago and still feels like a million miles away. You see having moved back, things couldn't have been any better between us our love seemed to be as fresh as the day we first met and we were making plans to be together. Easter last year he even proposed, like I said everything was blissful.
Unfortunately on my 30th birthday, our 8th anniversary he announced he told me he no longer loved me and ended the relationship. We spoke and he returned, but I was blindsided when he thought just a week later that he was gay. I knew something was wrong and went into research mode, unfortunately this was it for him and he left me and didn't speak to me for some time. (I should highlight at this point we had never not communicated before and would talk at least 3x aday).
I went to see him a week later, to find that he had moved on was in love with a woman he had never met and planning to move to the states to be with her. After some time talking, he realised that this was impulsive and agreed to slow things down. A few months past and he attempted suicide for the first time, realising what he had done he went to the doctor and was diagnosed with depression. He started on anti depressants and a week later returned to me. I was so happy but as happy as I was, I wanted to talk about what had happened but he didn't want to saying he just wanted to forget and move forward with our future.

We were happy, but after a while the tablets didn't work as well so began the tedious task on trial and error with the dosage. Unfortunately, this meant he would have periods where he didn't know how he felt, couldn't feel love etc.
This had resulted , a further 3 suicide attempts x1 of which has been blamed on me as he could not and felt ashamed he didn't love me.
Christmas came and went and we planned our future again even looking at engagement rings. I really believed 2015 would be our year.

About 4 weeks ago, he text me saying it wasn't fair to me and that he no longer loved me. He broke up with me. This was then followed with him not talking to me for 2 weeks. I felt like I was being punished but I knew that although the emotional pain I was going through doesn't compare to what was happening in his head, I was struggling to understand. Was this another "episode" would he return again? The truth is I don't know. And it seems so much worse than last time. He has stopped playing video games, doesn't go out, doesn't talk to anyone, is always angry (I'm usually at the receiving end) and wants to leave the country thinking this will make everything better.

All of this has had an impact on our 4 year old daughter who is now so protective of me.

My question is do people recover? Will it get better? Will my partner and best friend return?
I know that he is suffering so much more than me but feel as though I'm in mourning for him.

I don't know how to help him any more, how to put my emotions aside for a second time.

How do I help him, us, our family?

Re: will he recover?

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 7:53 pm
by myncs
Sorry about any spelling or grammatical errors, predictive text likes to take over.

Re: will he recover?

Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2016 3:57 am
by loui
I'm sorry to see that nobody replied to you. I'm in a similar situation and have exactly the same question "Will he come back? will he ever be the same he used to be?". The problem here is that people do not finish their stories...
I hope things worked out for you.


Re: will he recover?

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 8:42 am
by myncs
He did return and I'm happy to say that we are now engaged. However, it didn't happen over night. He entered another relationship and attempted suicide many times. I received multiple late night calls ranging from aggressive to help me. It was scary to know there was nothing I could do until he accepted he needed help. That day came when his cousin sadly committed suicide.
We have a child together so, I had to try keeping things amicable, allow him to come to me. For the longest time the man I knew was gone, replaced by a complete stranger, I decided the best cause of action was to get to know this new person (strange thing to say but the personalities were completely opposite). I had to accept what had happened and move on after all we would be forever in each others lives.

Just as was ready to move forward with my life, he returned and there have been many ups and downs.
Yes, he came back and i count my blessings everyday but depression has left a mark on all involved. I now have trust issues and wonder if it will happen again. my daughter took a long time to accept her daddy was back and able to say he loved her. For him, he is only partially aware of what happend and doesn't dicuss it, only saying it's foggy and he doesn't know or remember what or why he did the things he did.

I'm sorry to read you have have been going through the same thing and I hope all works out for you. I can't say if your lartner will return, you can only take it day by day.

Please, remember you must look after yourself and do what's best for you first. It took me a long time to understand I needed to look after myself. After all, how could I help anyone if my mind or health deteriorated?
Good luck and remember, your not alone.