How do I help someone with suicidal thoughts

[woodle]

my son has been taking anti depressants now for 18 months and 3 weeks ago decided to stop taking them. I cannot get him to see that he needs to talk to the doctor and to do this gradually. Last night I had to try and find him as he was threatening suicide, I just don't know what to do or where to get help. Any advice?

[stressed]

Morning.
When I was suicidal, probably like most people..I just couldn't see that I needed to go to the doctors. Fortunately my friends could see I needed help, so they took me literally kicking and screaming to get some.

Naturally I was not at all gratefull at the time, and to be honest I was too zoned-out at the time..to remember much about it now. Which in hindsight is probably a blessing, because I think I was pretty horrid to those who care about me.

I am nearly 100% better now, and very thankfull for my friends.
I would like to think that I will never get that down again, but it is reassuring to know that I have those who will step-in and look after me..if I am too ill to look after myself and get the help I need.

He won't thank you now..but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
I would bundle him up in the car, and force him to the doctors..get an emergency appt if you need to.

Don't be too hard on yourself, it's sound like you are doing a good job as a concerned Mum. Hope it goes well, and please keep posting x

[loobyloo82]

Did you manage to find him last night?

If he threatens suicide and goes missing or does anything 'risky' you can call the police. Most cops are really understanding in my experience. The police were called on me multiple times last year, and whilst I didn't appreciate it in the short term I am now very grateful to those who cared enough to do so. Like Stressed I too at the time did not realise I was ill and needed help and it wasnt until it was forced upon me that I began to understand.

Hope things work out, feel free to keep us informed

[stressed]

I second what Loobyloo says about the police.
They can be surprising understanding and supportive, and they can do more when someone is missing..then you can by yourself.
A&E is another option, if your son tries to harm himself.
I think the important thing is not be scared of calling in the professionals if things are getting out of hand, take care of yourself and not try to deal with everything on your own. hugs.

[woodle]

Thanks to you all for your replies.

I did manage to find him as he phoned his flat mate and told him where he was, managed to get my ex-husband out to him, which I knew he wouldn't like,(bad history between then) but had to take the chance that he would understand why I did it. He got there about 20 mins before me and managed to calm him down a bit.

Still trying to get him to doctors, but know I have to push gently and get him to understand why he needs to do this.

Thanks for the hugs, really needed

[stressed]

If you have tried talking, and encouraging him to go to the doctor..and he wont. You need to stop being so gentle..and act.
It's not because your son isn't intelligent or lazy. Your son is ill and needs medical help.
Obviously I don't know how your son is feeling right now..but I do know that when i'm really seriously depressed...I don't even feel really sad or depressed.
I guess I feel like I don't feel anything, perhaps empty or numb.
People can be talking to me, but their words wash over me. I don't absorb the information or take it in.
It's a bit like my brain has had enough, and has shut up shop.
It's very hard to try and explain..
All I know is it's easy and obvious to me when i'm well..that if someone is ill, they need medical advice. If you are depressed, then antidepressents might help.

But when I was really depressed, it really wasn't obvious to me at all.

Even if you feel like pulling your hair out right now, please try and be patient with your son...keep talking, and remember that with the right help, and given enough time..he can get better...
and with more help and *hugs*, and possibly a bit of humour, things will get better for you too. x