Hello, I have serious concerns for a friend of mine and his partner and need some help and guidance as to what support and help I can offer to them. It is a fairly long story but please bear with me!
My husband and I are very good friends with "M" and have been for a while. M then got together with a member of his family (all legal) "F". After alot of support from us getting them through a difficult beginning with opposition from the family F moved in with M and daughter. All was well and F seemed to settle in well until F started displaying some "odd" behaviour. We would be in a friendly gathering and she would suddenly shout and scream and run out into the street screaming for help. M would follow and try and calm her but soon the police were involved and arrests were made. This occured to 2-3 times and F stopped drinking as a consequence.
All seemed calm until 2-3 months ago M's father died. With this F's behaviour started to deterioate again, things began to happen around their house such as "ashes" appearing on the bedroom floor, glasses smashing and loud noises but only when F was in the room. F started to pass malicious comments to M's sisters and seemed to "grieve" more then them. This all leads into the most recent behaviour which is that F has now started to collapse or "fit". Paramedics have been called but she was never taken to hospital in an ambulance. She has had several appointments and scans but all have come back clear. Parallel to this we find out information that in previous years F has spent "6 months" "paralysed" in her own bed but doctors never found a cause.
After a lot of research and thought I personally, along with other members of her family, have come to the conclusion that F is struggling with histrionic personality disorder ALL the symptoms are present. But what do we do now? M is struggling with his own grief and depression and is unresponsive to any talks we have had about this. I feel it is not a good idea to confront F. Do you think the doctors that are investigating her "fits" will have figured out that it may be a personality disorder? Will they have access to her previous records? Can they do anything if they do? Her mother is also unresponsive and appears to be fed up with the whole thing.
My concerns are becoming more and more extreme especially for M's daughter who lives with M and F part time. Seeing what lengths F may go to in previous years (spending 6 months lying still, have a fit making herself bang her head and smash a glass) for attention from those she loves. What will she do in detrement to the child? There are small behaviours that point towards jealousy already. It may not come to anything but it could.
I understand mental health is complex and difficult to control and it is best to offer support and help where possible but this is starting to have detremental effects on my own mental health which I battled with for years.