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Desperate for advice

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
lp22
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Jul 09, 2020 12:04 am

Desperate for advice

Postby lp22 » Thu Jul 09, 2020 12:22 am

Hi everyone, I'm really new to this but would love to hear from anyone. I have a 20 year old son who, in the last couple of years since leaving school has become withdrawn to the point of being a virtual recluse. He point blank refuses to engage with anything including councelling. If I try and talk to him about it he becomes either confrontational or even more reclusive. This is such an awful situation and I feel so alone, no family are able to get through to him. He used to be fine up until a couple of years ago, attending school and seeing friends but now he can't seem to face reality and it's heartbreaking, he's spoken to a doctor who referred him to a councellor, he went a few times but didn't seem to really engage with it, then it was lockdown and now he's refusing to see a doctor. I don't expect anyone to have all the answers but it'd be nice not to feel so alone x

jenny17
Posts: 13
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2020 2:37 pm

Re: Desperate for advice

Postby jenny17 » Thu Jul 09, 2020 3:02 pm

Hi,

I don't feel like the best person for advice but I know what it's like to feel alone sometimes when you are caring/supporting someone you love. My partner has anxiety and anger issues and is having/had a hard time recently. I had suggested to reach out to some supportive groups/charities to him that he has been to before and I did meet with some resistance, so I know he needs to be the one to do it when he is ready. The only helpful thing I can say is let you son know you are there for him, even if he doesn't want to talk about anything. Maybe he built himself up to speak to the doctor/therapist and it did't go the way he wanted and that lost his confidence, I know my partner feels like that sometimes.

I hope this helps, even if it's not just know that you are not alone x
Jenny

rsxo
Posts: 1287
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: Desperate for advice

Postby rsxo » Fri Jul 10, 2020 9:33 pm

Hey :)

Sorry to hear about your situation. As a parent, of course you want your child to be happy more than anything. But here, all you can really do is let him know that you're there for him. If he wants help, he has to go to the doctor and attend those sessions, otherwise nothing will really change to be honest. You're doing everything you can, but he has to want to get better for this to work out, and it may take some time for him to realise this x
RSxo <3

prycejosh1987
Posts: 246
Joined: Sat Jul 18, 2020 3:30 pm

Re: Desperate for advice

Postby prycejosh1987 » Sat Jul 18, 2020 3:54 pm

lp22 wrote:Hi everyone, I'm really new to this but would love to hear from anyone. I have a 20 year old son who, in the last couple of years since leaving school has become withdrawn to the point of being a virtual recluse. He point blank refuses to engage with anything including councelling. If I try and talk to him about it he becomes either confrontational or even more reclusive. This is such an awful situation and I feel so alone, no family are able to get through to him. He used to be fine up until a couple of years ago, attending school and seeing friends but now he can't seem to face reality and it's heartbreaking, he's spoken to a doctor who referred him to a councellor, he went a few times but didn't seem to really engage with it, then it was lockdown and now he's refusing to see a doctor. I don't expect anyone to have all the answers but it'd be nice not to feel so alone x

It seems you need to get your son to address the underlying issues that cause him to be recluse. You have to express concerns in the way he would understand, that is all you can do. He needs to confront the issues at hand or it will only get worse. There are triggers in mental health that can alter whether it becomes better or worse for a person, well that happens to me.


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