thank you, I was trying to think of what to say - but you have said it.
I can only add that recovery takes time, and it is also possible for the depression to return (just the nature of things unfortunately) and so we try different types of meds at different doses.
Also the new meds can take a few weeks to become effective, if only there was an instant cure!
I look at things from a healing perspective, rather than fixing the problem, there are so many ways that we can help the healing along, aromatherapy, yoga, gentle and not so gentle exercise, planning nice events, but recognising that there will be rubbish days too..
.... Mindfulness meditation can help - there are many books available ( Ruby Wax writes an accessible one, and there is Mindfulness through Depression by Jon kabbat-Zin et al).
Depression affects the concentration, so, for someone in the mist of the depressions a very simple book like 'I had a black dog' may be helpful.
for the person who can concentrate/ or does not have the depressions so much 'The Compassionate Mind' by Paul Gilbert is a good idea ( helps us understand why humans get the depressions and how to go easy on ourselves) it looks like a tome but can be dipped in or try the audio book version.
I hope there are more good days than difficult days for your wife and you and your children,
with best wishes,