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You don't have to go through this alone.

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
mihaela
Posts: 1071
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby mihaela » Sun Jan 08, 2017 7:49 am

Hi Kat! I've only just seen your earlier post about your poor cat and that horrible neighbour. Such people aren't fit to be alive in my opinion. :evil:

I'm so pleased to hear your cat's alive and well. What a relief that must be!

My own cats are my life, and I'd go berserk if anyone hurt them. I've always had animals - goats, donkey, rabbits, hens, cats, dogs, peafowl, ducks, guinea fowl, guinea pigs, carp, goldfish, bees, etc. My white cat has found a secret way into next door's attic and I try not to let her up there. She thinks I'm so mean, depriving her of trysts with her beloved! He lives next door - a fluffy, princely looking creature with blue eyes. So if you can find that hole in the wall block it up. (I can't find mine, so I still don't know how she manages it).

kat32 wrote:I guess people will forget about me in a few weeks and I can get on with life, living and working near home but part of me wants to work further away and just travel.


I'm sure they will. Put it all behind you. PS My cats are amazing travellers :)

kat32
Posts: 198
Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2016 11:30 am

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby kat32 » Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:55 pm

Thanks, I just wish someone else at home would say there ready to move, it'd be easier. It's too expensive to live on my own. There's not a lot I can do about the loft apart from keep the door held down,
Other than that I'm fine, a bit apprehensive going out but I guess I'll have to go out sometime. I've started contacting voluntary places, see what they say, as well as applying for work.

I

hunterbaird
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2017 8:11 pm

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby hunterbaird » Sun Jan 08, 2017 7:15 pm

I have just your post, nothumannow, and hope to god things have improved for you since you posted it. I think about killing myself every day and I don't even think my problems are as extreme as some of the people on this forum. Sometimes it just seems as if it is a matter of getting through it second by second and minute by minute and it is so lonely. But your words did leave a bit impression on me

kat32
Posts: 198
Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2016 11:30 am

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby kat32 » Sun Jan 08, 2017 9:01 pm

If it wasn't for my pets I wouldn't be here, I was really upset when they kept her in, they had dropped her and noticed her scrambling. I now wish I had not agreed to having her neurologicallly tested. The main thing is she's back to normal. They wanted me to take her back for another test but there's nothing wrong with her. She's fine. I'm not taking her back.

I keep bits out of here as its personnel, I have problems but I'm sensible what I put on forum. I put on a front as I don't want to be known as the miserable one. Work was treating me awful and I had other things going on, I couldn't get management to see sense, I needed to talk. It was an experience I would rather forget.

I do write in a book sometimes and keep a mood number out of ten. One is really low and ten is happy. That night I was at one, guilt risen, worried what she had to go through. I'm just glad she has bounced back. I'm not happy about other things, but we all have problems.

I say to myself when I'm at number one, it's not worth killing yourself because you can see them bullies laughing at you. I don't want the world to end up with bullies, arguments or wars. I am here to stay in this world, fight for myself and my pets, family and make the world a better place.

Today I'm roughly at six but it doesn't mean that tomorrow will be the same.

kat32
Posts: 198
Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2016 11:30 am

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby kat32 » Tue Jan 10, 2017 1:47 pm

I ventured out to the local shop, felt a bitnervous. It was ok. I need to get out, even if it does make me nervous. I have an interview later this week so I need to get over this nervousness that's suddenly appeared since finishing work. I'll be fine, hope to go shops tomorrow, see how I go.

I guess the more I go out, the easier it will be and hopefully my nervousness will go away.

kat32
Posts: 198
Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2016 11:30 am

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby kat32 » Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:20 pm

I went out put recycling out and this woman shouted from window across the road, I'll get you Kat,
I just ignored her who ever she was. I hate living in this area. I have a few interviews, here and there.
I wish these awfully people will leave me alone.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1693
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby andthistoomustpass » Wed Jan 11, 2017 10:51 pm

Hi Kat

It's great that you are managing to get out. I'm really impressed with your positive approach in seeking a new job.

Well done on both counts. Hope the interview goes / went well. If you feel anxious when you go for interviews remember that we are there with you in spirit.

Take care. I hope to hear more from you soon.

kat32
Posts: 198
Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2016 11:30 am

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby kat32 » Thu Jan 12, 2017 3:43 pm

Thanks, today's outings been better, still felt s bit nervous at the bus station but once I got on the bus and kept myself to myself I was alright.
Me confidence is coming back, hopefully in time my nerves will settle down.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1693
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby andthistoomustpass » Thu Jan 12, 2017 3:54 pm

That's great. I hope you give yourself a pat on the back for doing so well. The way you are responding to everything shows that, despite your ex-'colleagues' behaviour, you are a survivor not a victim. Chuffed for you.

ps

Glad your cat is ok too.

kat32
Posts: 198
Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2016 11:30 am

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby kat32 » Thu Jan 12, 2017 5:45 pm

Thanks.
I hope I can get the job I really want, that will be next week's interview,. Today's was alright but I wouldn't be using computers, it'd be more Manuel work. But I can't complain or say no, I need the money.
It hurts not being able to do what I want, but without any backing I will have to make do with other jobs. I really need that job I'm going for next week. No one will let me update my maths, without it I can't aim any higher.
I use to be in a full time unpaid placement helping people with computers but I ended up being shifted for a professional who was being paid for driving round place to place.
Again it was a team member who didn't like me and wanted me out of the way. The manager tried to do everything to get me stay on for longer but it was done and dusted the team member won and I ended up on one n half hour placement here and their. Don't get me wrong I use to love the New computer placement but it was for a couple of hours, the other was in a library for an hour which I loved but no one would offer me more work. In total I'd spend five hours a week interacting with the public, the rest of the time came down to interviews and being at home.

I've started looking for work via the train. I'd rather travel to get a job I want than have a repeat of Christmas last year.
Not happy but I just hope one day someone will give me a chance.
It feels like they don't want me to get paid work helping clients with computers and tutoring other things.
I'm sorry for whining, I just hoped I'd be working as a tutor, coach or in design.
Thanks


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