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Trig - had enough of being a no-one

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so sad
Posts: 220
Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:28 pm

Trig - had enough of being a no-one

Postby so sad » Wed Jul 15, 2020 4:56 pm

Hi

my self-esteem has always been crap and I'm now at rock-bottom.

My job disappeared when COVID hit - I'm extremely lucky that I still have a job and work from home but I have no role anymore so I add no value. My mental health is awful and my manager is doing her best to protect me from being put into a post that will tip me over the edge (and again, I'm very grateful) but I feel so useless, I add no value. If I disappeared it wouldn't matter.

I have issues with my partner and she is great at belittling me, telling me I don't have mental health issues when she knows I have. We've been together over 25 years and I wasn't well when we met. She is really understanding of others with depression, great listener and very fast to support but with me there is nothing. I think she likes the fact that my self esteem is so non-existent that she can easily bully me into doing what she wants.

I was bullied throughout school and college and now as an adult - there is clearly something wrong with me to attract these kind of people and to give them a reason to bully me.

I want to hurt myself - it will stop my head for a while and I deserve to be punished.

I've just had enough of being a nothing

xx

prycejosh1987
Posts: 246
Joined: Sat Jul 18, 2020 3:30 pm

Re: Trig - had enough of being a no-one

Postby prycejosh1987 » Sat Jul 18, 2020 7:01 pm

I was also bullied and i am still emotionally abused to this day. My advice is keep a repentant heart and repentant spirit. It helps me to renew my mind daily. This is something that has come by over time.

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so sad
Posts: 220
Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:28 pm

Re: Trig - had enough of being a no-one

Postby so sad » Mon Jul 20, 2020 9:32 am

Thanks

c.j.
Posts: 101
Joined: Fri May 04, 2018 2:43 pm

Re: Trig - had enough of being a no-one

Postby c.j. » Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:52 pm

Don't let your partner belittle you. She has no right to do this. She may have self issues and may be the reason for this. No point in hurting youself. I doubt there is a justifyable reason to do this and it won't do any good, only make this worse for yourself and others. Stay strong. Keep us posted.


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