I am new to the forum and desperate for connection. I have suffered with anxiety since being a child (I was always worrying about dark things that a child should not be concerned about etc) so in turn, I ended up a rather anxious adult who was always worrying about something. I go through phases where I feel as though my head is loud (I hope someone can relate to that!). I mean that in the sense of my thoughts are going 200 mile per hour and I never seem to have a quiet moment of clarity or peace. Then, things subside for a while and all seems better but it always comes back to this.
Fast forward to March last year, I was at work - which in itself is enough to send someone over the edge, very stressful work. But anyway, I began to have this odd feeling come over me and I had never felt that way before in my life. I felt as though I couldn't stand, I was dizzy and everything felt like I was so spaced out I was never going to come back from that. Of course, impending sense of doom came along with that and I just couldn't function at all. I was truly petrified.
I've never had a solid answer to what that experience may have been, I now believe it to be a panic attack although my anxiety leads me to believe otherwise and instead trail off on the thought I have a brain tumor etc.
I had been taking Prozac a week or so before this incident, but had stopped abruptly so I thought perhaps it could be withdrawal. Bare in mind though that I had not been taking them very long (A few weeks at most). My other thought was perhaps if was the co-codamol I have been on for way too long now. I have gallstones and am awaiting surgery and wonder if the opiate drug caused some kind of issues within my brain. I've never had a true reason to why that happened that day, I ended up at the hospital but felt fine again sat in the waiting room.
Following that, my mental health improved rather dramatically. I fell pregnant within a month of that happening and all was quiet for sometime. But it came to the point (no judgement please) that I couldn't continue with the pregnancy any longer. I was devastated and I don't think I will ever get over that. I became severely depressed and withdrawn, as you can imagine but nothing too extreme and nothing I couldn't handle.
Fast forward again to 3rd January 2020 and the same thing as last year happens again, only this time my limbs start to feel very heavy and like they're not my own, my vision blurred, sweating and heart pounding and of course, the doom. I've not been right ever since, short spouts of split second dizzyness and often feeling a lot of dissociation.
I was put on 25mg of Sertraline on 7th Jan and this was upped to 50mg on 21st Feb and I can't say I see much improvement. I still feel as though I'm spaced out at times and I definitely am still experiencing the brain zaps and fogginess. I've really just had enough of being me. I've been diagnosed with PTSD and my GP feels a lot of my issues relate to childhood trauma. I know I have to seek out counselling and medicate until then but I'm really hoping someone can help here.
Am I going crazy? Sometimes I feel as though all of these issues are cause I have a tumor somewhere as I find it so difficult to believe anxiety can cause such physical symptoms.
Has anyone had similar bad side effects on Sertraline/Zoloft? I was ready to take my own life a week ago so I guess that they are having an effect but the brain zaps, dizziness and jittery feeling isn't helping my anxiety.
If you have got this far, thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read my son story. I'm just a little broken at the moment and I'm praying for a miricale.