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Feeling in such a bad way

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Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2018 2:37 pm

Feeling in such a bad way

Postby kitten111 » Fri Feb 21, 2020 12:35 am

I suffer with depression and my life has been really hard. I turned 30 recently. I’m such a failure at life . I still live at home, don’t have a job and have no love life . I’m so lonely. The loneliness is crushing me. Everything I try fails. I’ve been rejected so many times in life I’m tired . It’s like the spark has gone . Recently I met someone who ended up rejecting me and although it was only one date, I feel so sad.

I don’t really know what I want , I just feel so unhappy . I was prescribed anti depressant as couple of years ago , but never took them .

I don’t know what to do to help myself . I have no one .

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Joined: Sun Sep 23, 2018 8:13 pm

Re: Feeling in such a bad way

Postby supportivewife » Fri Feb 21, 2020 8:38 pm

Hi kitten111,

I'm really sorry to hear things are so bad for you at the moment and can appreciate how upsetting this may be. First of all, can I say that you certainly aren't a failure as you obviously keep trying different things to move your life along and that takes strength and guts and the fact you are all doing this suggests you are very determined. It is just unfortunate that you haven't had a lucky break so far, but that isn't your fault. Often things happen which are outwith our control as you probably already know. Keep on in there, I know it is hard, but something will work out eventually.

The fact that you say you still live at home, I would imagine your parents are still there. Can you confide in them as to how you are feeling? I'm sure they would want to help. Also maybe it would be good to chat to your GP again to see if there is anything he/she can do for you. Have you thought of social prescribing where your GP can refer you to a class/group/activities in your area which can help your physical/mental well-being? It might be an idea to join a club/group where you could meet people for some company or take up a new hobby. Just a thought as you never know, this maybe a good way to meet people too and boost you chances of something romantic. Also there are lots of online dating groups to think about too, although I realise that isn't for everyone. Please don't be disheartened on the dating front as I am sure there is someone suitable out there for you.

I know it is very hard to get work in this current climate, but keep on trying with that too. Have you thought of voluntary work in the meantime? Often employers place a lot of emphasis on voluntary work and it can sway in your benefit if you have done this.

I know it is very difficult staying positive, especially when things aren't going your way, but things will improve, although I know that is easy for me to say. I'm sorry I can't be of more help, but I'm sure others will have suggestions too and will post. Just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you and wish you well in everything. Good luck and take care. Aileen x :-)

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Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 10:32 pm

Re: Feeling in such a bad way

Postby minniemoo » Tue Feb 25, 2020 6:34 am


Try to focus on things you can control such as getting a new job so that you can eventually buy your own home if that’s important to you.

Maybe try volunteering in something first to see what you are good at and enjoy. You can do that now while you don’t have a mortgage so that’s a big positive. Once you have bills you will need paid work :-)

Try new things, pick a hobby. Don’t focus too much on meeting someone because you will probably just meet the wrong ones. That said, my friend dated a ton of guys online until she met the right one, she definitely focussed on it! That was a long time ago when sites were more about finding a partner than just a hook up! You have to be a bit resilient in the dating world because it can be horrible. Once you meet the right person it will all happen without too much hardship. You might need to grow your self esteem first so that you don’t take rejection too personally and you don’t settle for anyone who treats you badly.

Good luck.. you are not a failure

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