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Very heartbroken and nobody to turn to.

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Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2020 3:47 am

Very heartbroken and nobody to turn to.

Postby ryan85 » Sun Feb 16, 2020 4:29 am

Underappreciated: Yes
Criticized: Yes
Powerless: Yes
Hopeless: Yes
Tormented: Yes
Ignored: Yes
Paranoid: Yes
Jealousy: Yes
Cynical: Yes
Depressed: Yes
Lonely: Yes
Fearful: Yes
Anger: Yes
Ashamed: Yes
Worry: Yes
Resentful: Yes
Bored: Yes
Weak: Yes
Suicidal: Yes

I've tried all my life to overcome this list but finding it extremely hard to do so!
Things have become extremely worse now that
I've seperated from my alcoholic abusive wife of 6 years and
I now suspect she will eventually cheat on me because of how vulnrable she is.
The last I heard she let a driver kiss her several times she "let it happen because she was scared" This is what she told me...I believed her because of her history and how frightning men can be to her...
But now I wonder when the next man will try more than a kiss will she allow that also?!?

I'm feeling very lonely and scared for both our future as we had so much love for each other
and we both continue to try make it work as our love was very special.
I ended up becoming her caregiver near the end...and she to this day does not give me enough
credit for saving her life and getting her to walk again...
But I'm now barred from entering the country for 10 years and she is disabled...We don't even know If her being permanently disabled will be a hardship and I will be allowed back into the country or not...All this uncertainty though is making me wonder If I should try anymore...

I come to this forum for advice on what I should do, we loved each other very much but I had to leave her because she became a very abusive alcoholic and is still continueing to drink even though I've begged her to stop numerious times!!! She seems to not care how much she is hurting me with her alcohol abuse...I feel so hopeless because I know she's not normally like this when she's sober...She's the most amazing woman sober but when she's drunk she is very abusive towards me and my family, she will yell horrible mistruths about them and makes me want to continue with the threat of divorce...I really don't want to divorce her but she will not stop drinking. She tells all our private information to her "Friends" that she does not really know...and I've nobody to turn to so I hope somebody here can help me...

I do not want a divorce and she refuses to get help...
I'm out of hope and very worried she will cheat on me...I'm sorry if my rambling does not make much sense, I'm very worried...right now (with her permission) I use our online camera service and I hear how drunk she is with these "friends" and I'm worried they will take advantage of her, My heart is in my mouth the whole time, I feel she would never cheat on me but I think if somebody tries to...she will let them!!!!!! She suffers from alcoholic ketoacidosis but blames my parents and her sister and me for starving her...The only thing she could drink was WINE!!!!!!! Yet she is spreading nasty vicious rumors to random strangers that we all starved her and did not even get offered water!!!!!! I'm so ashamed of her and my love for her is slowly dying.

Thank you for reading and hope you can help me.

Posts: 132
Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 10:32 pm

Re: Very heartbroken and nobody to turn to.

Postby minniemoo » Sun Feb 16, 2020 8:45 am

This is really sad, I’m so sorry about your wife’s problems which are affecting you.
She obviously does need professional help.
It must be awful to hear the situations she is getting into, but it is not your fault.
Here is the Al Anon website, could you call them? They are experts and should be able to support you. Hopefully there is something similar where you are if you are not able to use the Uk helpline.
I guess all you can do is call the police is you hear through the camera that she is being abused. Read up online about alcohol abuse so that you understand it. Look after yourself too.

Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2020 3:47 am

Re: Very heartbroken and nobody to turn to.

Postby ryan85 » Sun Feb 16, 2020 5:34 pm

Thank you for your reply thank you for taking the time to read what I had to say, makes me feel better today.

Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2020 12:13 pm

Re: Very heartbroken and nobody to turn to.

Postby mrscampbell2020 » Wed Feb 19, 2020 12:40 pm

Your story has really hit me in a way i feel i want to reach out, ive been suffering for years with these same emotions you are feeling and it's one of the worst pains ever, not physically but mentally!

Im so sorry to here of your wife's situation, and from what you have told us she really does need some major help, with the love and support i hope that she really does get it, none of us want to see our loved ones in such a way they feel there's no way out.

Now to you yourself, please DO NOT feel like you are worthless, helpless or any of the list you stated, because you are not, your are stronger than you think and you will get through this! Reaching out is the best step you can do to get back on that track of recovery!

Please feel free to reach out to myself personally if you are struggling! As we all need someone to talk to personally.

I wish you all the luck in the world that you find the happiness you deserve x

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