Lovely to hear from you. Do excuse my very delayed reply. I didn't mean to cause any worry.
Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that life feels very stressful at present.
If it helps at all, reassure yourself that your feelings are entirely
reasonable and expected.
Try to focus on the eventual outcome that the botch jobs will
be fixed and it will
I can relate somewhat. When we moved house a week before Christmas (as you do
) the place needed a LOT of work. Let's just say the previous owners had, erm, loose
(carpet stench), and that they cooked only
ever with grease (every area of the kitchen was sticky):lol: The wooden floor even had nails sticking out of it for some bizarre reason.
The garden was bare - just earth and stones.
Whilst the middle bit between moving in and how it looks now was, for my parents, highly
stressful, what they've done with the place is honestly lovely.
So try to keep positive. I hope you are still making some time for yourself. <3 *hugs*
Perhaps a (weather dependent) stroll outside. Get out of the house and have some space maybe?
Have you been doing pilates or gardening?
I hope your shoulder is better now, too.
That's really disappointing about your niece and the whole local lockdown situation.
Your anger is entirely justified. Oh, I've had my fair share of rants. Just remember that you
are playing your part in keeping yourself and others safe and well.
I hope the restrictions will be lifted for you soon.
Has your lovely GP friend contacted you yet?
How are the meds/psych/care co/cmht etc. ?
Have you met your new GP?
Did you get in touch with anyone from your DBT group?
I'm sorry to hear things are difficult with your partner. *hugs*
Has working from home become any easier? I do hope so.
So many questions.
No pressure to answer any of them.
I'm good thanks. Work has been full-on. I've just finished seven days on the trot and I'm back in tomorrow. I do enjoy it though.
I've had a LOT
of agro at work - two-faced bitchy women, criticism, tears, grassing - but I've come through it. Bit apprehensive because a temporary laundry assistant is starting her induction today and a full time cleaner is coming back from shielding so I'm a little worried that my hours are going to decrease.
I spoke to the deputy manager who reassured me that there will always be plenty of hours.
They're always short on care but (due to bitchy staff) I don't want to do care work, really.
The only place they aren't short is in the kitchen.
Classic pro-active me has therefore been applying for second jobs. I've an informal chat tomorrow night at a local pub. Sure, it's kitchen work but I'd rather that than nothing especially after the boredom of lockdown and with my boyfriend being back in full time work.
Things with the boyfriend are, for the most part, really good. We had a romantic night away last month and have a weekend away booked for the end of September.
Every relationship has it's problems and I'm remaining alert to a few alarm bells around his seemingly controlling and guilt-tripping behaviour and his frequent hypersensitivity to and questioning of my facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, actions, quietness and language which all feeds into my dormant insecurity of being inadequate (am I moody? snappy? aggressive? rude? lazy? selfish? unrefined?
and ultimately, bad
) and triggers negative thoughts such as "It's my fault" and "I am less".
I felt very uncomfortable at his flat last week. He wanted me to stay over another night and, because I wasn't going to and had pre-planned not to, he literally lay face-down on his bed saying nothing whilst I asked what was wrong. I felt really uneasy (not afraid, it was just weird) and pressured. I surprised myself by starting to cry! But I do talk to my mum about this (her father was very controlling in her parent's marriage but to a much worse extent) and I do talk to my partner about how this all makes me feel. We resolve things.
One thing he said to me once was "I have a temper, but you'll never see it" which is unrealistic and also a bit concerning. Is his temper so bad that I can't see it? His mother also said of their relationship, "we get on well but we do fight like hell" to which he denied.
He can get on a bit of a downer sometimes, too. I support him but try to uphold self-preservation.
But honestly, there is so much good in him and about our relationship, too!
Although he is a bit of a hypochondriac who takes a home covid-19 test for a morning sore throat caused by sleeping in a hot room and cured instantly by a glass of cold water.
I don't think we'll see each other as much now with us both working full time. We miss each other but it does give the relationship a healthier balance.
So my counselling course is due to start on the 10th October. I'm really looking forward to it.
I'd like to meet some (or even just one) friend this year. Especially with the thought of not seeing my boyfriend so much now, I do feel a bit bored and lonely sometimes. Just like I would like to go out and about with a friend but it's so hard meeting people in my local area.
I contacted my support group on our group chat. All bar one member plus the group organiser out of the ones I get on with most have left the group. I popped a message to everyone the other night but had one reply. It's gone very quiet, unfortunately. It's understandable though, what with the length of time it's been since we all met last and lockdown and people generally getting on with their own thing. It's a shame, but I get it.
Aaaaaaaanyways. Nothing from me for months and then booya! A novel.
Sending love, hugs and positive vibes.
I hope you have a brighter week.