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Zero emotions.

Posted: Sun Oct 06, 2019 9:04 pm
by hobgoblin
Hi I need to check if I'm normal.
I have had several recent tragedies occur it I physically can't show any emotion not one. This includes laughing, crying, fear absolutely nothing.
For years now I Knew something was wrong you could tell me that someone close to me had died or been put in hospital and as callous as it sounds even if I have a close bond with them I just DONT CARE, now I know this isn't normal behavior but thats me, I have lost my way in emotions and no longer even smile or laugh if I do it's usually a false laugh to make people feel better.

Re: Zero emotions.

Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2019 7:46 pm
by minniemoo
Hey this sounds quite hard and upsetting. Could you talk it over with your GP?

Depression can cause this and it’s certainly not uncommon. You can also recover from it.

I read about a medical condition that can also cause this, normally caused by trauma or neglect in your early life... it’s not very common but it’s possible, if you’ve always had this.

Re: Zero emotions.

Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2019 4:06 pm
by hobgoblin
Hi minniemoo,
I agree with a traumatic experience when I was younger, as a child of 5 or 6 a very traumatic experience I was Raped by my Grandfathers Carer this also was repeated when I was in Boarding School.
I was also in the care system and until I was 16 my natural parents had very little to do with me, at the Age of 13 my little brother died aged 2.5 and one of the boarding schools I went to asked me if I wanted to go on Holiday, what a thing to say when your brothers died. And people wonder why I'm empty inside.

Re: Zero emotions.

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:53 am
by minniemoo
Sorry to hear that Hobgoblin, that is absolutely disgusting that two people in a position of trust did that to you as a vulnerable child. You lost a sibling and also did not get the care you deserved from your parents. Do you have support now, any counselling etc? I know someone with quite serious emotional trauma which was not dealt with at the time, they have found some release in later life through talking and also some physical therapies. Sadly years ago children were not supported emotionally like they are nowadays.

You have experienced some of the most awful situations possible. I would think that you would be less shocked by death etc than most people, given what you’ve been through? That’s not to say it might not affect you though, maybe it is affecting you in a different way.

It sounds like you used to laugh and be happy at times, but things have got on top of you and you rarely feel happy anymore?

Re: Zero emotions.

Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 9:21 pm
by hobgoblin
Oh that's the problem I'm never happy anymore, I have had no counselling and feel that the world has let me down in a big way, sometimes even now I just want to curl up and Die, as like many people in my situation i now trust no-one i can't even hug my wife or children without feeling very uncomfortable, this should not happen to Anybody.

I can't help but feel sorry for my Family who even now have to go without any sign of Affection from my-self, I just want this nightmare to end, doctors are useless 10 min appointment but they only see you for max 5 mins, psychiatrist signs me of there books because they change location, and I have no-one other than an unknown faces or voices that read this of which I'm grateful.

I want everybody in my situation to speak out I think it's the least we can do, To be Left As An Empty Sheel of There Former Self due to horrific circumstances is totally unacceptable.

Re: Zero emotions.

Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 11:45 pm
by rsxo
Hey :)

Sorry to hear what you're going through. When we're exposed to something traumatic, the pain might be great enough that we subconsciously shut down our emotions to protect ourselves - and so while we may no longer feel sadness, other emotions such as happiness are suppressed, and thus it feels like a void of emotion is left behind. You mention that you've not had counselling, and if you're not able to talk to a family member or friend about your emotions or these events, then I think that would really help. Being vulnerable and expressing those emotions allows you to slowly, but surely, feel emotion againx

Much love <3

Re: Zero emotions.

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2019 10:59 pm
by minniemoo
You really should be a high priority case for therapy, surely, given your circumstances. I pay for therapy and I think it’s well worth it but I know many people are not able to so I’m lucky. If it’s an option for you then maybe try someone who is experienced and is settled in the area. I go to someone’s home, I found her online.

Please make it clear to the doctors how badly you need support. You deserve it. Things will get better but you shouldn’t have to go through all this on your own.