i know how it feels when people dt listen or want to listen.
if u are having delusions and hallucinations then u need to get down the docs ASAP, call on monday and ask for an emergency appointment. if ur suicidal then go to A and E !!!!
i never used to understand myself, they way i thought and felt was weird compared to other people, it wasent until i did a online personality test, read up on my personality type (mine is INTP) and found a forum for people like me that i started to understand.
people discussing there problems that i was having and others helping was a huge help to me.https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
try it and see if it helps.