minniemoo wrote:Also.... why is it that you want a girlfriend by the way? You haven’t mentioned why except that you worry what others think.
It is not to just make myself look normal, but I would like too have a real relationship. I spend most of my time alone, and I would like to have a companion, a human connection, instead of just being solitary all the time.
minniemoo wrote:When these conversations come up why don’t you be honest about why you haven’t had time or opportunity to meet someone? Some people may worry it’s something far worse than being a fantastic high achiever!
Besides primary school, where most males do not have girlfriends, I attended a very rigourous high school (secondary school + sixth form in the UK), one of the most academically challenging in all of USA. No one really dated in high school because everyone was focussed on getting top marks to get into some of the top 10 universities in the world. I followed suit, and just studied all day and neglected everything connected to social and dating life.
To give you an idea of a typical day during high school, it would be like this:
05.30: wake up, get ready for school
06.30: arrive at school, study a bit
07.30 start classes
15.30: end school, go home
16.30: study, do homework
20.00: study chess, train for tournaments
22.00: study, do homework
00.00: go to bed
As you can see, this schedule is not conducive to dating.
Then at 17, I entered university, and studied two STEM degrees: mathematics and pre-medicine molecular biology. A typical day would be like this:
07.00: wake up, shower, get ready
09.00: arrive at uni, start classes
17.00: come back home
19.00: study, do coursework
01.00: go to bed
Again, like high school, except worse because studying two STEM degrees at the same time was not easy in terms of time management for me. But as you can see, dating barely entered my mind at uni.
Then after that I studied chemical engineering. Same thing, no time for socialising or dating.
Now at 29, I have the time to date. I simply lack experience because of my academic history. Spending my whole day studying. I do not know what women think of this schedule, but this is how my days were. No time for dating.
I suppose that I grew up in an environment where academics was everything. To study all day, get the highest marks you could, this was valued more than social life. Many of my peers have the same problem, they are in their late 20s and do not know how to interact with women. They graduated from Oxford, UC Berkeley, Stanford, Cambridge, MIT, UCSF, London School of Economics, whereever. But they tell me the same thing, that it is hard for them to meet women.
I have no real advice for them--I am in the same situation as they are, except worse.