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Posted: Wed Mar 20, 2019 2:50 pm
brief overview, I have been struggling with depression since 2008, I have been on a bunch of meds. Last year I was really struggling and decided to sign up for some therapy, I got 17 sessions of CBT from a therapist which I think helped me understand more about the depression, and how to try and deal with it. I do think that helped. But I kept thinking more of my troubles come from the past and that is what is making me feel depressed and we did touch upon this and we worked together and put a plan into place to try and put things in throughout the year to look forward to, which I have done.
However, around December, I had just a sudden wave of low mood, I was just picking up my cup of tea and it was like a switch had gone of in my head. I had finished with CBT for about 8-10 weeks at that point and was doing well, I was feeling more positive about things and then when that low mood came in I panicked. I tried to do the CBT stuff but it was not working, and I did not know what to do. I ended up at the gps and asked about CBT again. I reached out to the therapist I saw and I was put back on the list.
I was unable to see the same therapist this time, so it is someone different, I have seen her twice now, but doing some of the homework set has brought up memories that could possibly be effecting me somehow but I do not know why or how.
Also, I am not sure about this new therapist, she comes across as more stern and more serious.
for example, I am going out of the house, but it does take a lot of work to leave and I do get anxious about leaving the house. I am ok when I am out, and sometimes my mind drift and I do want to go home, but I focus on something around me, which my first therapist told me to do. I have also set different things to do each month that I do not do everyday, which me and my first therapist talked about . but this new one wants me to do something totally different. I am like, what? and when? I can not drive, so I have to rely on buses and some stop at certain times. I am not really interested in a lot of things and things I am interested in are too far to travel.
Should I ask her about what other options are other than CBT ?
Does anyone know what other options there are?
could it be that this therapist is not right for me? But could be great for someone else?
Posted: Wed Mar 20, 2019 9:54 pm
It could be that your therapist is trying to push you to try new things outside your comfort zone because that is the Behavioural element of CBT.
CBT is the go to option because it does help a lot of people. Unfortunately CBT is about the here and now and doesn't really deal with the past in any depth. Some form of counseling or perhaps a talking therapy from a psychotherapist (both available on the NHS) may allow you the time to raise the past in a safe space.
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2019 11:48 am
i had my third session of cbt yesterday.
i went in more engaging and feeling a little more positive to tell her how I had been and what i had been doing that improved my mood.
sort of feel like that was just dismissed, I went to london that was out of my comfort zone and I got an understanding of the more I do out of my comfort zone the easier things will get to do but hardly talked about it.
I feel like I have been pressured/bullied into doing this job course.
I would like to do it, but not at the moment as I am going away towards the end of the month, then again in mid MAY and again in early JUNE. ALL for a week and I feel that they would not appreciate doing a week missing a week doing 2 weeks missing a week etc.
I feel because of this it has made me depressed again as well as anxious.
I KNOW SHE WANTS ME TO FEEL ANXIOUS AND DO THINGS OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE TO FIND A REASON BEHIND SOME OF IT. BUT most of the time it is just a feeling in my stomach.
I probably am anxious about this course because after I left school I went to college then did another 2 terms somewhere else. But quit, due to the course changing. I struggled to find work over the years, I got a few zero hour contracts but was never used or trained. Did some volunteer work last year. The other thing was that I had been unwell as well.-2013 ish I had a constant headache for like 6 months, some days I could not get out of bed because it was that bad. saw the gp but could not find anything. 2017-2018 I had something wrong with my stomach that affected me for around 6-8months. I could not bend without being in pain, somedays I could not eat without vomiting . Plus throughout that depression and anxiety. I KNOW WHEN I HAD MY FIRST ANXIETY ATTACK IT TOOK ME over a year to get back to some normality.
I did make my own business on ebay selling anything, but mainly toys. WHICH I AM STILL DOING, recently I have just completed a cleaning course in which I got a distinction in.
Posted: Fri May 31, 2019 11:11 pm
You were getting along well with your former therapist and this resulted in a positive 'chemistry' between you both. When this occurs, you both connect and are able to discuss your issues more comfortably.
On one hand, the first therapist you saw seemed to understand your situation and was treating you rather gently.
This new therapist does appear to want to go deeper and work at more speed, hence putting you under more pressure. Albeit stern, she does seem to be helping you to try new things.
However. As you have wrote in your post. You do believe that your depression is based upon whatever troubles you experienced in your past. This is an area that needs to be explored thoroughly, yet carefully.
First, you mention the 'sudden wave of low mood'. You mention the 'homework' you did with the second therapist and how it brought about memories that could be affecting you without understanding why or how.
There are times when we don't understand what brings on our depressive states.
The homework appears to have 'pushed a button', resulting in the memories coming to light. This will - in turn - help you to work with the therapist at exploring the underlying issues.
You may benefit from therapy that will help you to understand why your depression is occurring and this will take some time.
In the meantime - as suggested by the therapist - trying different activities will certainly help you to move on with your life and deal with the negativity of depression.
Sitting in a busy cafe, walking a different route to work or the shop can help break the monotony of everyday routine - even though you may find it difficult. However, in time you may appreciate the change of scenery and also break away from your routine which - in turn - can build your confidence in new surroundings.
You will need to keep going to therapy as regular as possible. Where your depression is concerned, this is going to be the only way to help you explore the issues that are causing the depression.
There are self-help methods (such as books or even group meetings) that your counsellor could offer.
Both counsellors have been very helpful by encouraging you to be independent and break away from your routine. Routine can be very stable and comforting, yet restrictive.
There are however, many positives to routine and people do benefit from the structured, organised way of life it brings. Many people from all walks of life enjoy life more when following an organised lifestyle. For some. Lack of routine means chaos.
For others, lack of routine and living in 'chaos' is a way of life and they are happy with that.
Reading further along, you talk about your struggle with anxiety. This is another area that you will need to explore deeper in therapy. Again. It is locating the 'root cause' of why you are always feeling very anxious.
Anxiety - like depression - can be a situation that has grown over a long period throughout our lives. New situations can cause us to be anxious.
A counsellor/therapist will be able to advise you on self-help techniques to help you cope when you are experiencing your anxiety, as well as exploring deeper into why you are experiencing the anxiety.
Which counsellor/therapist do you want to see?....It's not a straight forward answer because everyone is different.
It's about finding someone you feel comfortable with. Especially when exploring such personal issues.
Due to the problem of getting to see your first therapist, it may be easier for you to continue working with your current therapist. The dilemma for you is the question of whether or not you should carry on seeing her.
It may be worth persevering with your current therapist because you now 'have a placement' with her. If you stop going to see her, you'll 'lose the place' and have to wait even longer for another appointment.
If you still feel that the therapist is unsuitable, then you will need to speak to your doctor about either getting an appointment with your original therapist or finding someone else.
The problem - if using the public health system - is getting the initial appointment and securing a 'place' because of the waiting list.
You could 'go private'. However. The cost of treatment will need to be borne in mind if you are living on a low budget.
It may be worth continuing to see the new therapist for at least another couple of sessions in order to to build a professional relationship. Although more 'stern', she may be more experienced and have a deeper understanding about your situation.
You may find it helpful to discuss the homework with her and try to work together on exploring why it was bringing memories to your attention.
Your depression could well be associated with these past memories and this is going to be a very important step for you regarding your journey towards overcoming this situation. Your new therapist may be able to help you in this area, which is pin-pointing the route cause of your depression and then finding a solution to deal with it.
Whoever you choose to continue therapy, it is important that you work together at understanding the underlying causes to your depression.
As for your work and college commitments, you may find yourself more productive by focusing on what you feel works best for you. Your business, cleaning and college commitments can be tailored to your own way of life by either working/studying part-time or being 'flexible' with your hours.
In time, you will find your own way to deal with this.