I'm having DBT at the moment and have been since last July. I have a great one-to-one therapist and I also go to a skills group once a week. I'm on my second cycle of the DBT and in some ways it has made big differences.
Right now I'm in a mess. My depression is spiralling and my anxiety is out of control. I'm trying to use the skills, some moments are better than others.
Problem is that I'm fixating on when it all ends and then what? I'm under no illusion that I won't be fixed by the time it ends in July. I should be equipped with the skills to help me maintain a level of normal but huge dips like are still going to happen.
I've built up a really good relationship with my therapist and I just can't stop myself from wondering how the hell I'm going to cope without her.
I know I should just be in the moment, just deal with the moment I'm in but my mind is just freaking out.
It feels like if the DBT doesn't work then there is nothing else to try so if I still feel like this come the end of July then I can see me ending up in a suicidal state. I can't cope with life and it feels like I'm just enduring life and despite all the efforts I'm making, not living life.
I know there is nothing anyone can say to make this all go away but I just needed to say it in a safe place