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Partner not supportive

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Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2019 11:42 am

Partner not supportive

Postby beaburts » Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:10 pm

Hi - I’m new.
I won’t go too much into my story. I’ve recently been put on sick leave from a meltdown at work. I’m pretty confused right now as my moods are all over the place, so today is ok. Docs have put me on sertraline which is a strange med. think I’ve been up since 2am making notes about all sorts. Sleepy but not sleepy, hungry but not hungry. Jittery, shivery.

What I really need is some advice from people who have dealt with unsupportive partners. I love my husband and I know he’s does love me, but he doesn’t understand and compares me to a child "crying over spilt milk" he’s told me that I’m ruining my life. I know he’s not right. It’s hard though when the one person you need to be with you and he’s just not. He asks no questions. He just carries on as if all is ok. I think we both need counselling but he won’t. I think if I could find a group in my area for this sort of problem (I’m sure it happens a lot right?)


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so sad
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Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:28 pm

Re: Partner not supportive

Postby so sad » Mon Feb 18, 2019 1:33 pm


Sorry to hear about your situation. Sertraline (any meds) take a while to settle in and you can have some odd symptoms whilst you're waiting.

I wonder if your partner is scared and is trying to ignore what is going on in the hope it will all go away? My partner wasn't supportive at first - think she thought it was a phase and would pass, I don't know. She is better now but still gives me off handed comments every now and again which are hurtful.

Could he see your GP with you so he is present when you chat things through?

Its so hard for you having to get your head around your own issues without his support.

Could you write him a letter?

Sorry if these are useless ideas!


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Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2019 11:42 am

Re: Partner not supportive

Postby beaburts » Thu Feb 21, 2019 7:54 am

Thanks for your reply. And your suggestions are great. It’s hard talking with him if he doesn’t want to hear. And I couldn’t bear another argument. I’ve just resorted to hugging him as much as possible.

Thank you.

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Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: Partner not supportive

Postby rsxo » Fri Feb 22, 2019 11:15 pm

Welcome Tia!x

It can be hard to know that the person you love more than anything doesn't quite understand what you're going through! But remember that if you don't have him, you have friends and family you can turn to instead. Your partner may be with you for life, but they might not be able to do everything. As long as you have someone to talk to, that's the important thing! If that person is your partner, even better, but doesn't have to be!x

Much love <3
RSxo <3

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Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:49 am

Re: Partner not supportive

Postby lenag85 » Mon Feb 25, 2019 12:07 pm

HI sorry to hear your husband isn’t very supportive right now towards you. How long have you been married? I’ve been married 5 years and it’s a working progress! Is he not supporting you emotionally and telling you everything is going to be alright or had he just told you to suck it up and stop being silly? Because that doesn’t help you need support right now to get back on your feet... I’m also for the past year having to put up with my husband who has decided to do a very last minute career change... his selfishness has nearly cost him his marriage, I have a young baby toddler and my moods like yours are all over the place. Do you have any friends or family local that you can go to for a weekend and focus on yourself for a bit? Maybe treat yourself while your on the sick leave? Do you like doing any sports? Do something that makes you feel good again to try and boost your mood. It’s hard sending hugs... here if you need to chat

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