Tough year. I think your acceptance of the illness is fantastic- smart, brave, and will take at least a little pressure off, not fighting yourself on something that just is. That'll leave a little extra energy for managing the illness. I'm really tired, so this isn't a v detailed reply, but I felt the hope, and can apply that for me too, so it's helped me a bit. Sorry you and your family have been through the mill, rapid cycling bipolar sounds really tough- so little time to get your balance. But I'm so glad you've found a helpful way of seeing it all. Can chat more when my brain's not hurting?