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Guess whos writing a book!!!

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
melindaj
Posts: 42
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2018 12:33 pm

Re: Guess whos writing a book!!!

Postby melindaj » Sat Dec 08, 2018 12:58 pm

Black dog days and taming the mutt ?

Very best wishes M.

sirhugo
Posts: 631
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: Guess whos writing a book!!!

Postby sirhugo » Sat Dec 08, 2018 8:57 pm

Something to do with the black dog could work

sirhugo
Posts: 631
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: Guess whos writing a book!!!

Postby sirhugo » Wed Dec 12, 2018 6:40 pm

ok folks. time for chapter 3

Chapter 2 – Dr Dickhead

I don’t know what it is with my brain, but the minute it understands something, or it gets a reason that explains behaviour of something or someone, then I feel just a little bit better. So therefore, the realization that I might have depression put a tiny light at the end of the long dark tunnel. Something that could explain why I felt so crappy all time. Why I felt like an alien and an outcast. Why I struggled to get out of bed every morning. And I suppose I also thought that maybe there was a magic cure out there to fix all the above in an instant, like all those adverts where someone with a blocked nose can suddenly speak perfectly

So the first step was to go to the doctor to discuss this and see what treatment options are available. I have never had the best experience with doctors. Excuse my French, but I think most of them to be useless cunts. It seems there go to answer for any problem is lose weight, stop smoking or take paracetamol. Brain tumour? No problem sir, just lose some weight. Useless bastards.

But if I was going to crack this problem I need to swallow my revulsion and see what they had to say for themselves. Of course they lived down to my very low expectations
I described the article I read regarding depression. She cuts me off mid-sentence (something that really pisses me off. I’m sure we’ll get to this later) and asks “why were you reading an article about depression?”

Why do you think you fucking muppet?

I told her that I was having all of the symptoms described. She asked me if I was having suicidal thoughts. When I said no she said I might have mild depression

Well, I’m sorry but there’s nothing “mild” about this horrible feeling that’s being plaguing my life. Thanks for making me feel like a total hypochondriac. I didn’t realize I needed to be suicidal before I bothered you with this

So the doctor quickly goes on to say that for treatment I can try counselling or medication. Not being particular keen on medication at that point, I said I’d like to try counselling. She tells me she’ll refer me to a counselling service and hands me a leaflet. At that’s it, appointment over
Can you imagine how’d you feel after that? Some people would feel like the biggest dickhead in the world. Some would feel that their problem was trivial and would go back to ignoring it. Other would spiral downwards into a bottomless pit of misery.

Fortunately this didn’t happen to me. Instead I got angry. More on this later

melindaj
Posts: 42
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2018 12:33 pm

Re: Guess whos writing a book!!!

Postby melindaj » Thu Dec 13, 2018 2:23 pm

Dear Sir Hugo,
Your latest chapter chimes with exactly how I felt when my Doctor seemed to have no empathy for me. I really think G.P's are stretched to the limit and despite 1 in 4 of us having MH issues(a quarter of the people they see each day) unless they have internalised what Sane on Suicide explains so clearly there will always be patients at risk due to anxiety, feelings of isolation and desperate wishes for it to end.

Thank you M.

melindaj
Posts: 42
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2018 12:33 pm

Re: Guess whos writing a book!!!

Postby melindaj » Thu Dec 13, 2018 2:24 pm

Dear Sir Hugo,
Your latest chapter chimes with exactly how I felt when my Doctor seemed to have no empathy for me. I really think G.P's are stretched to the limit and despite 1 in 4 of us having MH issues(a quarter of the people they see each day) unless they have internalised what Sane on Suicide explains so clearly there will always be patients at risk due to anxiety, feelings of isolation and desperate wishes for it to end.

Thank you M.

sirhugo
Posts: 631
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: Guess whos writing a book!!!

Postby sirhugo » Thu Dec 13, 2018 5:52 pm

absolutely. its clear that the doctors are becoming blasé and cynical with mental health and don't care anymore. my niece was struggling with depression and her doctor more or less told her to get over it. shocking behaviour. :x :x

sirhugo
Posts: 631
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: Guess whos writing a book!!!

Postby sirhugo » Wed Dec 19, 2018 5:26 pm

Chapter 4 – I’m sorry Mr Customer

So after surviving the debacle at the doctors, came the most fun part of all. Waiting

I received a letter from the doctor about the counselling and who they were. I was also advised that I was on a waitlist and that I could be waiting months.

Now I appreciate and understand the NHS is already struggling badly and just doesn’t have the staff or the funding to manage everyone who needs there help so badly, but leaving someone who is struggling potentially waiting for months is a poor show. They really needs to be some sort of backup in place while people are on these waiting lists. How about referring to some sort of charity or peer support group in the meantime? Don’t just leave people to rot away

So I was on the waitlist. Awesome, but in the meantime life goes on, and that includes going to work

I work in a call centre. I know what you’re thinking. No wonder you have depression.
You would be absolutely right. I have one phrase that sums up call centres. Soul destroying. When I spoke to my first counsellor, he informed me that there is more referrals from people who work in call centres that any other profession. This is hardly a surprising statistic. Let us list the ways in which call centres make your life a living hell

You’re watched like a hawk 24/7. Every single move you make is monitored. One wrong word on a call and they can give you a hard time. If you take too long between calls they give you a hard time (I’m writing this between calls right now. Suck it bitches!!!) Hell, they even monitor how long you’re in the fucking toilet for. Am I six years old again?

People scream at you and abuse you, mainly over something that you have absolutely no control over. I’m sorry, Mr Customer but it’s not my fucking fault that your home insurance premium has doubled since last year

The job is just so unbelievably boring. Almost every call is the exact same and having to repeat the same old shit constantly can drive you bat shit crazy.

Easily the worst part is that when the customers are screaming at you, half the time you know deep down the customer is right, the reason they are pissed off is entirely justified and you want to give them exactly what they want. You want to say “yes you have indeed been ripped off. Here’s £100 for your trouble” But of course, in order to keep this job that you despise so much in order to pay rent for a house that is a rundown shithole, you have to swallow your revulsion and pride, detach your balls, and lick the companies ass crack and tell the customer why the company have done nothing wrong

The insurance industry is corrupt to its rotten core. Prices get increased hugely for no reasons at all. There’s all sorts of hidden fees, and of course if you try to claim more often than not, there’s some small print that means you can’t. If you learn one thing from this book, learn this. Insurance is a fucking rip off. Don’t buy it

Anyway. I digress

I went to do my usual 8 hour shift. Every day was getting harder and harder to deal with. I felt like I was dying inside. What made it worse was despite the fact the misery was written all over my face, nobody lifted a finger to help. Half the time my head was buried in my hands. I was close to tears many times. If you saw someone like that, wouldn’t you assume that something was wrong?

Despite this, not one of my colleagues did a damn thing. They didn’t ask if I was OK. They didn’t even look in my direction. I was dying inside and no one cared. And that was the worst thing of all.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1660
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Guess whos writing a book!!!

Postby andthistoomustpass » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:37 pm

Nice!

But what do you have against chapter 3?

Still liking the rawness and honesty that gives such a strong sense of the writer.

The NHS and GPs are horrendously overstretched, MH services are horrendously under resourced but that isn't an excuse for ignorance with such a prevalent health issue. My personal bugbear is doctors who only 'get' situational depression, anxiety, etc, such as that caused by working in call centres (yep, I've worked in one of those lovely places too :lol: ) and have no understanding of more entrenched issues.

I suspect it may be something to do with their training focusing on cause and effect combined with a severe lack of time. They are instantly searching for a cause and leap to very tall conclusions from a standing start, the conclusion is often based on the most likely or most common cause rather than a comprehensive assessment. I've experienced similar with physical health issues. :evil:

While I am ranting :lol: I suspect there is still a prejudice around mental health issues. It isn't a broken bone they can see, it isn't an illness or deficiency they can test for, therefore 'It is all in the mind'. 'Well of course it is you @!lhfplaju! That doesn't make it any less of an illness!'

sirhugo
Posts: 631
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: Guess whos writing a book!!!

Postby sirhugo » Thu Dec 20, 2018 5:39 pm

chapter 1 was originally called intro so its thrown off all my numbers :lol:

yeah everything you are saying makes perfect sense. most GP's I have dealt with are cynical apathetic cunts when it comes to mental health. only one or two actually treat you with respect and take it seriously. I don't know why GP's cant suggest some charities while your on waitlists. why not suggest coming on this forum for example?

maisi
Posts: 526
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:29 pm

Re: Guess whos writing a book!!!

Postby maisi » Thu Dec 20, 2018 9:35 pm

Maybe GPs can't recommend charities for some technical reason, like they can only refer to services that are NHS accountable or something? Just a thought. It's not a great system at all. Depression is so common it should be really clear to GPs what's a decent response. My GP was sympathetic and did the referral I needed, but it's the waiting lists that are insane, and Nice guidelines are like some sort of dream, with services so overstretched.

Tbh, the fact that there's much quicker access to counselling for simpler MH conditions and extremely long waits for more complicated ones seems a bit rough too.

In terms of the book Hugo, I'm worried this chapter could alienate people with strong loyalty to the NHS, but I wouldn't suggest you remove the frustration and hurt as it's true. Don't know what I'm suggesting, if anything! Hope you don't mind that comment


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