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Boy age 11 put on starvation diet by anorexic mother

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2018 9:51 pm
by emmarosser
Hi, I have a nephew age 11 who has been put on a starvation diet (generally less than 900 cal per day) by his anorexic mother (my sister in law). His mother twists the truth and says he is eating healthily but his BMI is now so low he is on the 4th percentile on weight of boys his age. I have his confidence and I want to help him, but what can I do?

He loves his mother but is beginning to question her judgement on food he is allowed. He tells me things like "she stopped giving me vitamin tablets because they contain too much sugar" and "she sends me to bed hungary saying I should have eaten my dinner when all she gave me was disgusting salad". He also says "all she ever eats is salad, I don't think its very healthy, she never gives me meat now because she has stopped eating it".

My beautiful nethew is being physologically tortured by his mother's controlling charactertics (mental state of needing to control) being directed onto her son. All she ever does is discipline him and exert her control. He is now failing at school as he decided to stop concentrating in reaction to her forcing him to do 2 hours maths every evening since he was 5 years old. She told him he was no good in maths and had to work harder. Over the past year he has had 3 different maths tutors each doing 90 mins a week of after schoool tutoring and his knowledge of maths has gone backwards in that time not forwards. Originally he was deliberately not listening/learning but now I fear that he has forgotten how to learn and concentrate.He certainly believes he can not do maths. This is a disaster for him as he really did have potential in maths and I saw his as an intelligent child.


There are so many things not normal with my nethew's behaviour now, like neurotic behaviours and I see potential for self harm. It is critical I help him if i can. Please advise

Re: Boy age 11 put on starvation diet by anorexic mother

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2018 10:11 pm
by andthistoomustpass
Hi

The lad's health must come first. I'm sure you know what you must do, if his mother won't listen then you will have to raise it with the authorities.

Re: Boy age 11 put on starvation diet by anorexic mother

Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2018 12:49 am
by tofler
Yes, please contact children's social services at your local council. In any situation like this, the wellbeing of the child has to take priority over everything else.

Re: Boy age 11 put on starvation diet by anorexic mother

Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2018 2:51 pm
by rsxo
Hi Emma,

Agreed with the previous replies - definitely need to contact authorities over this, because her mental state is now causing serious harm to her childx

Much love <3

Re: Boy age 11 put on starvation diet by anorexic mother

Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2018 3:34 pm
by cookiemonster
Well done for seeking advice. Contact social services ASAP. It’s a serious situation and the boy must come first.

Re: Boy age 11 put on starvation diet by anorexic mother

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2018 3:53 pm
by betterinrecovery
Hi there
This story is concerning,
It is a new school year, so it would be good if his teachers and school are aware of the situation so that they can watch out for him.
Head teachers have a pastoral duty to their students, perhaps the head can be informed about these concerns, confidentially,...they of course also have a legal duty of care to the child and are able to monitor his wellbeing.
I think the mother and the little boy are both in need of specialist intervention and care.

I think you are wise and kind to raise this concern.

I hope that you will still have access to the child and his mother, may I suggest treading carefully so that you maintain a relationship with mum, (I hope that does not sound patronising),
It is just that it is better that you are still able to visit, that way you can be of more help to the little boy.

Hoping that mother and child get the right help,
and that you are o.k..

B