Lovely to hear from you as always.
Thank you for your message.
The course will cause me a great amount of stress and anxiety - which I do not need. There is a lot going on right now. I've just started therapy twice a week for overcoming anorexia and my therapist agrees that treatment and getting well should always come first.
I remember something you said to me before Deb, which really helped. It was 'there are things I can do and things I can't do'.
I am now doing things that last year didn't seem possible for me to do. I feel I want to build on what I am achieving now and work towards doing more of what feels achievable.
That's not to say that I won't ever be ready for this course. I can do it next year when I am both mentally and physically stronger.
Being mentally and physically stronger will actually enable me to have the guts, confidence, energy and general 'oomph' to challenge myself in unfamiliar social situations with new people I don't know.
All of the support will still remain available to me if and when I re-apply.
Ah, my mother just doesn't like seeing how my illnesses impact on the real me. She is so supportive and gets over-involved so when I stress or change mind or whatever, it has a negative knock on effect on her. It's a lack of understanding on her part and a lack of consideration on mine.
How are you doing, Deb? I'm pleased to hear that you're feeling well.
Love Em's x