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The guilt of depression, tips

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
alice1
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Feb 26, 2018 3:16 pm

The guilt of depression, tips

Postby alice1 » Mon Feb 26, 2018 3:48 pm

Hi everyone,

I was wondering if others are dealing with this and if so how.
I suffer from delayed onset PTSD and depression. Some days I feel that I can't do anything, even the simplest tasks. The whole time I am not doing something, for example an application for a job, I feel worse and worse and it gets harder and harder for me to do it. I feel awful about myself the whole time and like I am letting it (my illness and who caused my PTSD) win. Healthy me is very motivated and dedicated and I am very self critical, holding myself to a high internal standard. So when I don't reach it, even due to being ill, I feel terrible.
Also, I always ask how do I know its depression making me unable or am I just lazy, how do i know? (I don't think I am being lazy as I have always been very motivated and being afraid to go outside isn't usually linked to laziness, but I still worry I am)

Sorry if I rambled on, I was hoping for any insight from people who might feel the same?

Thanks x

missflowers
Posts: 52
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 6:14 am

Re: The guilt of depression, tips

Postby missflowers » Mon Feb 26, 2018 6:01 pm

hi
im a bit low on words today but wanted to reply x
you are definitely NOT lazy
you sound depressed to me

just wanted to send love hugs and my best wishes
Lu x
I used to be Lucretia on here
much love Lu xxxx

deb1960
Posts: 1840
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: The guilt of depression, tips

Postby deb1960 » Tue Feb 27, 2018 8:46 am

Hi
I will answer later as unable just now

But yes I know exactly what you're talking about
Deb x

sirhugo
Posts: 630
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: The guilt of depression, tips

Postby sirhugo » Tue Feb 27, 2018 7:51 pm

I often have the exactly same question in my head. to be honest I WAS pretty lazy before I was diagnosed which makes it harder for my own mind to answer

one thing I can confirmed is that depression can rob you of you motivation, energy, lust for life and general will to live, so don't feel bad about it. the way I try to see it is this. whether its down to depression or laziness, who cares? it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

you should try to give yourself a break. if you don't feel that you can do something right away, then don't. relax for a while, do something you enjoy. maybe the urge will come back later, but if not, then that's ok too. at the end of the day its about what works best for you.

take care

deb1960
Posts: 1840
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: The guilt of depression, tips

Postby deb1960 » Tue Feb 27, 2018 9:13 pm

Hi
With mental illness we always feel we're not trying hard enough. I don't think there are many who don't feel that way. If we have chronic back pain or a heart condition we'd almost certainly be easier on ourselves. The reality is that you're ill. I try to make the best decisions for my health. That means I still haven't got in touch with the council about a job they're meant to do, our kitchen is still only half painted, the dishes won't get washed til tomorrow morning. My to do list stretches way back. Sometimes I get quite upset and feel guilty. On good days i feel optimistic that things will get done.

Before metal illness I was able to do much more. One of the big symptoms is lack of motivation and naturally it's harder to feel motivated to do things we don't like.

You're not lazy. You suffer from a debilitating illness. All of us need to develop more self compassion.

Take care
Deb x

stardust84
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:32 am

Re: The guilt of depression, tips

Postby stardust84 » Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:47 am

Sometimes just getting out of bed and surviving the day is enough!!! I have learnt that over the last few months. I would love to have productive days everyday but even people without mental illness don’t have those.

I think the key is to go easy on yourself, be kind! A day / a week doing nothing is sometimes exactly what you need to carry on and recover.

I try and count all of the little things as successes, I got up, I got dressed, I turned up!

Things that have helped me recently have been art and guided meditation. I have also picked up exercise. I struggle with motivation at times for all of them as I feel totally exhausted mentally but chipping away helps.

Just keep going, you’ve got this!! And remember to be kind to yourself.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1693
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: The guilt of depression, tips

Postby andthistoomustpass » Mon Mar 05, 2018 12:27 pm

Good thread and a useful reminder not to beat myself up for being unmotivated.

Thanks all.

alice1
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Feb 26, 2018 3:16 pm

Re: The guilt of depression, tips

Postby alice1 » Tue Mar 06, 2018 5:06 pm

I read these all the other day and they were really helpful but I didn't feel able to reply at the time. Thankyou for all the posts they really make sense. If we'd broken our leg or something we wouldn't expect to run a marathon the next day.

Thankyou for all the support, I'm trying to be kinder and accept i can't always do everything I want, and that's ok.

Much love to you all


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