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same old same old

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
sirhugo
Posts: 630
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

same old same old

Postby sirhugo » Thu Nov 23, 2017 2:21 pm

hi all. feeling a bit fragile today. had a triple whammy of human ignorance. a woman who got off the train just in front of me kept glancing back over her shoulder at me like i had the plague. she then crossed the road at the first possible opportunity. im pretty she thats not the way she would normally go. not long after that one of the guys in my team at work walked right past me without saying hello or even looking at me. Then after i had arrived and was waiting for tea from the machine, one of the women from my tea walked in, took one look at me, turned and walked back the way she came

what am i supposed to think of behaviour like this?

As usual i have went to my defensive protection mode in which say to myself "f**k them i dont need these c***s" of course that means i dont want to talk to anyone at all, even people who are nice

then of course i calm down and they thoughts start playing on mind "i should make more of an effort. it must be me. nobody else has this problem"

its bloody mentally exhausting being like this. this is why its so much easier to just sit quietly in the corner

christabel
Posts: 2106
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: same old same old

Postby christabel » Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:49 pm

I can be my own worst enemy thinking what others are thinking/saying. We can't know or be responsible for other people's thoughts or actions. I have learnt that eventually.

Often people have problems of their own that we don't know about or they are just plain horrible.

I hope you are feeling better now. Take care.

teamn
Posts: 460
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: same old same old

Postby teamn » Fri Nov 24, 2017 6:08 am

Hi SirH,

I think What Christabel said is basically what I was thinking also, we have to try our best not to think fir other people , we have no clue what's going on fir them or inside de there head just like they have no clue what's going on inside yours unless you tell them..

It's hard not to do that, but it will help to kinda bring yourself back to calmness even after you initially do become anxious or feel bad.

It sounded like a craopy day though .. I miyst admit, your phrase in your last paragraph is definitely my go to phrase, when I feel let down or ignored ..I used it a few times yesterday myself... :lol:

sirhugo
Posts: 630
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: same old same old

Postby sirhugo » Fri Nov 24, 2017 12:53 pm

thanks guys, once again i appreciate the support. more than anything i appreciate not being ignored.

you both have valid points. i dont know whats going on in their head. but i have tried to tell them whats going on in mine a few times. but their not interested. "normal happy" people have no time for people with depression in case they get dragged down with us.

the way i see it communication is a two way street. ive put in my effort. wheres their effort?

ill get thru it as ever by reaching for my go to phrase. if i need someone to talk to ill come on the forum or call the missus.

hows everyone today?

Isap
Posts: 1843
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: same old same old

Postby Isap » Fri Nov 24, 2017 1:54 pm

Hi sirhugo

I just wondered whether the atmosphere of a call centre makes people unsociable, or whether the job attracts the wrong type. It makes no sense that your posts here are so lucid and supportive yet in real life you have these problems. You also got a great girlfriend, I read of people on other MH forums who can't even make a friend male or female. I once tried befriending such a type online but when he heard I was double his age and in jail he never replied back. His problem of course but it takes me a lot of mental effort to write, some days I'm incapable of even getting online.

All the best

Isap

sirhugo
Posts: 630
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: same old same old

Postby sirhugo » Fri Nov 24, 2017 5:10 pm

its definitely nothing to do with the call centre. people are constantly chatting and laughing with each other, just not me. i agree that it makes no sense. i think im a nice, fun and interesting guy ifyou got to know me. but there just not interested. i suppose you can come across better in a forum because you have time to think about your answers where in reality your on the spot.

jazzrose343
Posts: 22
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2017 1:00 pm

Re: same old same old

Postby jazzrose343 » Sat Nov 25, 2017 3:08 am

Sorry you feeling like this today.

I do know how you feel. Where I work it feels like everyone is getting on well and has all these close relationships and I on the outside.
Just because they have not noticed you does not mean you are not worth knowing.

We are here anytime you need us ;)

amaya
Posts: 730
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: same old same old

Postby amaya » Sun Nov 26, 2017 12:34 am

I think you have to try not to care so much what they think. If someone is really mean, then you don't want to know them anyway so who cares what they are thinking. If you don't know what someone means by there actions, then you don't know it.. so you can't presume the worst or the best with any certainity. So then it is best not to think about it too much. If you can't stop, make up a nice story instead of a hard one. Like the person who walked into the room and walked out again when they saw you. Perhaps they suddenly remembered they left their wallet somewhere and went to fetch it and was so stressed by the thought they didn't even think to say hi to you. That sort of thing can explain a lot of behaviour. And my last tip: Focus on the relationship and people in your surrounding who are actually nice to you and forget the rest. Six months ago I had no friends here. I sent the group app from my dutch course a message to say that I was sick and in hospital. I hardly got any replies. But there were two girls who made efforts to be my friend and after six months it has become a real friendship. I just choose not to focus on the rest or care what they think about me. After I got out of the hospital I went back to my course. One of the girls gives me strange looks sometimes.. but who cares..

sirhugo
Posts: 630
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: same old same old

Postby sirhugo » Tue Nov 28, 2017 9:09 am

you are both absolutely right of course. i shouldn't give a f**k what these people think. and most of the time i don't. but the thoughts do creep back in sometimes.

the girl who turned around and walked away was someone who used to try to talk to me when i was in my rock bottom phase. i was too depressed to notice at the time. when i started to feel better i thanked her for her efforts and told her about my depression. since then she has ignored me like all the rest. its disappointing really. maybe people think its contagious


feeling ok today so far. lets see what today brings

teamn
Posts: 460
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: same old same old

Postby teamn » Tue Nov 28, 2017 1:56 pm

Hi Hugo,

Yes it's hard not to care sometimes p, especially as we siege so long at work, it would be nice to have some form of relationship with our colleagues. But unfortunately not always case, hang in there and stay positive.

To be honest I feel ignored sometimes on here, especially when it gets quiet, or if I read posts from others and I see lots of comments from people who not commented on mine, I do feel like oh dear how. One they don't comment on mine , but we never no reasons so most of the time I just let it go. Just like right now my relationships with friends and relatives are few and far between, but I just think that right now this is the journey I'm on, so have to get on with it, and get reacquainted with myself and what I can do to make myself happy and well..

Hope you have a good day today


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