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Just a moment of your time

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
jazzrose343
Posts: 22
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2017 1:00 pm

Just a moment of your time

Postby jazzrose343 » Thu Nov 16, 2017 1:28 pm

I am feeling in an extremely vulnerable at the moment. I keep thinking it would be better if I was not here.
I suffer from anxiety and depression and have recently returned to work on a phased return after an 3 week absence.
I am also a carer for my Mother who has physical health problems and Borderline Personality disorder.

I currently live with her and my younger sister who is an adult.
I am responsible for all the financial things within the house and a large amount of the practical responsibilities.

Where I have been struggling I have not managed things as well as I should and I have left the family in a difficult situation without enough money.
If I was gone my family would receive a payout and all the problems would be over. I am on medication and I have been thinking about how I can end it.
I do not think I can cope with the fall out from what is going to happen and I just feel it would be better if I was not here

mihaela
Posts: 1071
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Just a moment of your time

Postby mihaela » Thu Nov 16, 2017 6:00 pm

I've already replied to you on another thread.

jazzrose343 wrote:I am responsible for all the financial things within the house and a large amount of the practical responsibilities.


This isn't fair. If you feel you can't cope with it, you shouldn't be doing it. Either someone else must or someone should help you.

Find someone who'll speak up for you, and demand support from mental health services. Don't give up until you get it. Perhaps your local MIND group will be able to help.

christabel
Posts: 2106
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: Just a moment of your time

Postby christabel » Thu Nov 16, 2017 8:38 pm

Hi jazzrose

Nothing is worth making yourself ill with or even contemplate not being here.
Mihaela is right. You should not be shouldering everything. Her advice of getting help is good so try and get some.

Let us know how you are doing. Take care. Chris

jazzrose343
Posts: 22
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2017 1:00 pm

Re: Just a moment of your time

Postby jazzrose343 » Thu Nov 16, 2017 8:41 pm

Thank you for your kind words.

I am going to try tommorow and push for further support

amaya
Posts: 730
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: Just a moment of your time

Postby amaya » Thu Nov 16, 2017 10:19 pm

It is your situation that needs to change to take the pressure off you. You need to stay, because you are a caring person and you deserve to live, but also enjoy your life. Please reach out for extra support :)

jazzrose343
Posts: 22
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2017 1:00 pm

Re: Just a moment of your time

Postby jazzrose343 » Fri Nov 17, 2017 12:59 am

I am sitting here being berated because I cannot give my mother enough money for what she wants without leaving us in a more precarious situation than we already are.

What is the point of living like this.

My other family cannot help and I have messed up too much on the past to be trusted by the family that might help any way.

I am given a second chance time and time again and I cannot learn from my mistakes with money.

It is not worth living like this any more

sirhugo
Posts: 630
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: Just a moment of your time

Postby sirhugo » Fri Nov 17, 2017 10:02 am

Your mother has no right to berate you. its your money and you can spend it how you see fit. i could be wrong here but it sounds like you are doing your mother a favour by giving her money

Are you and you mother getting the benefits you are entilted to? im sure she should have soem form of disability allowance and you can get carers allowance

i know what its like to fell utterly hopeless and worthless, but trust me it will pass. forget your mother just for a minute and look after yourself for a while

jazzrose343
Posts: 22
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2017 1:00 pm

Re: Just a moment of your time

Postby jazzrose343 » Fri Nov 17, 2017 3:32 pm

I am sitting here as the countdown ticks by until the problems with money blow up.
The shame I feel is overwhelming.
I cannot turn to anyone as I have messed up with money so much in the past that no one will help me as I cannot be trusted.
I do not know what to do and feel so over whelmed.

sirhugo
Posts: 630
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: Just a moment of your time

Postby sirhugo » Fri Nov 17, 2017 4:45 pm

have you talked to any money advice professionals?

jazzrose343
Posts: 22
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2017 1:00 pm

Re: Just a moment of your time possible *trig*

Postby jazzrose343 » Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:07 pm

I have got some advise coming up but I need to try and raise approx £300 for the next 8 days by Monday.
I do not now what to do because I cannot borrow.
I am in such a state of high anxiety.
It is not just me that this affects but my mum and sister too because of the mistakes i have made.
I just feel if it would be better if I was not here


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