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In a bad way

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In a bad way

Postby deb1960 » Mon Nov 06, 2017 10:21 am

Well things have got very bad.
My sleep has gone into its cruellest pattern. As i start to doze off it wakes me and so startles me. To the point where i try to stay awake. This happened in the beginning when i was very ill but never managed to kick in since. Now it has and has amplified all my fears. I d taken a sleeping tablet. On a physical level this is the worst symptom I know.

I am so scared. The doctor has increased my ADs but wont use anything else.

I've to keep up with my routine otherwise i ve had it. While i was in bed I tried to calm myself with little success.

I don't know how I ve ended up here.

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Re: In a bad way

Postby Isap » Mon Nov 06, 2017 12:36 pm

Hi Debs

Really sorry to hear that. I know that feeling only too well.

All I can say is that you can survive a long time without sleep and eventually you get so exhausted that you sleep anyway.

I take anti psychotics at a very low dose and they send me to sleep. 50mg of Seroquel. Maybe you could ask doctor to let you try some.

Thinking of you

Isap xx

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Re: In a bad way

Postby teamn » Mon Nov 06, 2017 1:13 pm

Don't know what advice to offer, but just wanted you to know that I've read and acknowledged your message and how your feeling, just take it one hour at a time, that's what I'm currently having to do, all the best

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Re: In a bad way

Postby amaya » Mon Nov 06, 2017 2:33 pm

Hi Deb :)

I have also had that and it was really, really horrible. I got through it in the end without using any meds but I still wake up in a shock from time to time, but thankfully not all the time. The thing that helped the most was calling a friend who was luckily for me someone who likes to stay awake all night and sleeps in the day. So whilst I was in my worst moments she was always there for me. At times my breathing was so panicked I really thought I was going to die, so not being alone was important. I went many days without sleeping more than 5 or 10 minutes at a time. Horrible. I did also call the crisis line from time to time. I don't know if you have anyone you can call so late in the night when you have this problem.. but for me that was the only thing that helped. Maybe you could make yourself a list of numbers like the samaritans and just keep your phone by you at night. Usually after 10 minutes of human contact you might be able to try to sleep again. If it happens again, ring someone again.

Also, I know that a good sleeping pattern is important, but if you lose too much sleep than at a certain point it is just important to get some sleep no matter what time of night or day it is. I know for me if I lose too much sleep it becomes even hardly to fall asleep and my anxieties become more magnified. People also told me that eventually I would become so exhausted I would just sleep, but that doesn't happen for me, I become more and more aggitated and panicked and hyperalert to every sensation. Really finding some company and being somewhere safe is the only chance I have at those times. Maybe call a friend a short time before bedtime to talk to... just to remind yourself that you are connected and safe.

Just my ideas from my own experience, I don't know if it will help you or not.

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Re: In a bad way

Postby deb1960 » Mon Nov 06, 2017 6:20 pm

Thank you so much for your replies. I think ringing someone before bedtime is a good idea. It might not sort out the problem but it can only be a good thing.
Isap. I saw the doctor today. I didnt ask for anti psychotics but I can be fairly certain he ll say no. To think they used to dish out chloropromazine to everyone once.

I continued with my routine today. That is crucial. Mental illness has endless symptoms. Some are especially nasty. Its frustrating that doctors wont allow short term use of certain drugs.

Debs xx

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Re: In a bad way

Postby Cyprus » Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:05 pm

Hi debs
Sorry you are having a tough just wanted to say thinking of you

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Re: In a bad way

Postby andthistoomustpass » Mon Nov 06, 2017 10:54 pm

Hi Deb

Just wanted to say my thoughts are with you.

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Re: In a bad way

Postby amaya » Mon Nov 06, 2017 11:49 pm

Good luck tonight I am also thinking of you :)

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Re: In a bad way

Postby kmax » Wed Nov 08, 2017 1:37 pm

Hi Debs

I am new to this forum however not new to depression.

I have found listening to a guided meditation as i lie in bed fairly useful and very often I can drop off before the end.

There are lots on Youtube.

Just a suggestion - usual warm bath, no TV or screens for an hour before bed...

Keep the faith - this too shall pass...

Kerry xx

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Re: In a bad way

Postby deb1960 » Wed Nov 08, 2017 3:10 pm

Thank you Kerry for your support.

Hi all,

Each day is getting worse re my anxiety. It's fear of becoming seriously depressed again and fear that I will end up killing myself. I speak logically to myself daily, telling myself how different everything is from the first time, how much better I'm dealing with it, that I'm keeping up my routine. But my mind constantly frightens me, which is exactly what it's meant to do.

When I was so Ill 16 years ago I attempted suicide. what was worse is that I decided it wasn't the answer but one evening a thought sneaked in that I should do this. Although I didn't act on it, it was persistent until meds kicked in. And so I'm afraid that might happen again. It was the fact that it crept in and became more and more the answer.

My sleep problems are about the same though with the fear I think it will get worse.

So I plod on. I go back to the doctor in three weeks. I think he's optimistic it'll pass.

Sorry it's such a negative post.

Deb x

Sorry for such a negative post.

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