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How are things progressing Isap

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
deb1960
Posts: 1840
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: How are things progressing Isap

Postby deb1960 » Mon Oct 08, 2018 8:36 am

Hi isap

I read up on stoicism recently. In its early days good or bad health were irrelevant as long as you lived a morally good life. I think health is relevant but I think being a decent person is too

My prayers are with you
God bless
Debs xx

Isap
Posts: 1843
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: How are things progressing Isap

Postby Isap » Wed Oct 10, 2018 11:09 am

Hi Debs

I don't do much reading which is a big disadvantage here. Have never liked it, probably because I feel less anxious when moving or talking.

Being a decent person seems like a forgotten way of behaviour these days but I haven't lived in Europe since 1984. Most Japanese are decent people. Brits in the south of the country maybe not. Others would say differently.

This will be my third night without psychopath Aussie and Danish guy in his place. I thought I might miss his presence but not one bit. The Dane is a trustee so out most of the day but he checks in for a sly cigarette once or twice daily so I'm not feeling lonely on top of everything else.

I saw a psychiatrist today, I've seen 3 different ones here. He actually recommended pregabalin funnily enough. Still waiting for new AD escitalopram to kick in.

Hope you are feeling a bit better

God bless

Isap

deb1960
Posts: 1840
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: How are things progressing Isap

Postby deb1960 » Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:00 am

Hi isap

I hope your AD kicks in soon. My pregabalin hasn't but I only went up to 300mg last week.

I can only read when I go to bed I'm lucky in that my mood usually settles in the evening.

Yesterday I had an unusual chat to a priest who was recommended as being very caring. He is from an African country and his language skills aren't great. He seemed to think I saw him as next to God and laughed most heartily. I assured him in words I didn't and that he was just a regular guy (don't think he got that) But the talk was mainly weird. Ultimately though I have to put my faith in God. He apparently can but perhaps that's his upbringing. In his poverty God probably did save him. Maybe that's where it went wrong

What I took away from it all was that he had long and attractive fingers, lovely teeth and appearing very white and a very nice blue and white long sleeved top.

I seek bits of recovery everywhere and who knows, maybe something he said plants a seed in my head.

I haven't looked at the cost of pregabalin. I get embarrassed at what I cost. Funnily enough I meet people who take pleasure in telling you

Must run for bus

G b
Debs xx

Isap
Posts: 1843
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: How are things progressing Isap

Postby Isap » Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:29 am

Hello Debs

Waiting for medicine to kick in is no fun as we all know. Hope the pregabalin works but you still have plenty of leeway.

It distresses me that people in the UK can be so nasty to the weak and vulnerable. It comes from ignorance of course but I always hated London and its people and just wanted to live abroad where people seemed friendlier and definitely less violent. The influx of foreigners actually improved the place IMO.

Since my psychopath Aussie cellmate left my mood has improved. I never realised how much he was keeping me in an anxiety state with his foul temper and lack of empathy for people.

Have a read of Corinthians 1:3. It ties in a bit with what you said about stoicism.

God bless

Isap cc

deb1960
Posts: 1840
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: How are things progressing Isap

Postby deb1960 » Fri Oct 12, 2018 8:39 am

Hi Isap

I was in the middle of my post when a message popped up telling me sorry but my month had run out and I had to top up. I should have saved the message but here i go again. It's so frustrating when you lose a post!

Re my pregabalin I was thinking about it this morning, imagining it working and living a normal life again. I had 3 good years in 07 8 and 9, then a good year in 13. Other than that I've had 3 (always 3) tantalising months that in their joy have planted hope. In fairness I never had more than 3 bad months other than the early days

. But, and it's a big but, I have developed a far better relationship with God. Also i went back to poetry which has improved a lot and im currently writing childrens poems. I'm actually managing to write bits of them now,while I'm ill which is a first for me. Also I have greater compassion which I am able to show to those who need it, because of course they are the ones I come into contact with. That is true for you too. You give hope to me and others through your own suffering.

When II've finished posting I will turn to my bible and read st Psul. Btw I was at the Salvation Army craft group. The minister who runs it is lovely. What is weird though is that with all her compassion she believes that we can only be saved ie go to heaven through Christ. She isn't ever so sure about everyone else. That doesn't make sense to me.

I hope your tablets work soon and congratulations on being rid of your psychopath cellmate.

I've gone on. I hope that's ok. I am constantly fascinated by God.

God bless
Debs xx

deb1960
Posts: 1840
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: How are things progressing Isap

Postby deb1960 » Sun Oct 14, 2018 7:43 pm

Hi Isap

I hope you are managing okay.

I'm thinking of you and praying for you

God bless
Debs xx

Isap
Posts: 1843
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: How are things progressing Isap

Postby Isap » Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:05 am

Hello Debs

Thanks for your long post and the one above. I'm not great but soldiering on. Having to adjust to being alone in my cell most of the day because new cellmate is a trustee and basically works outside all day. He pops back now and then to see how I am and have a sneaky cigarette which technically not allowed.
New AD taking its time but have scope for increase.

I've never really understood where Salvation Army stand on the Christian spectrum.

Hope you're coping OK too. I return the prayers

Isap xx

deb1960
Posts: 1840
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: How are things progressing Isap

Postby deb1960 » Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:48 am

Hi Isap

I imagine you feel some loneliness despite the psycopath you shared with. I find being on my own difficult. Is your new cellmate mentally well. Does he speak English. In Scotland we wouldn't say sneaky. we'd say he has a fly cigarette. I came across an expression once. He's as fly as a bag of weasels.

The salvation army officially believe you have to accept Christ as your saviour to get to heaven. Jane is a minister and suggests we don't know how god works in someone's head.
That's her get out clause. A younger.newer minister seems to be more open in her beliefs. They are immensely compassionate and very non judgemental.

I hope your meds kick in.very soon. I've had a few better days but that happens sometimes so II'm waiting to see how it goes. I was on 100 and only went to 300 12 days ago. I never respond to drugs until 3 or 4 weeks.

The bus beckons

God Bless
Debs xx

deb1960
Posts: 1840
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: How are things progressing Isap

Postby deb1960 » Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:32 am

Hi Isap

Just to say hello.

My prayers are with you.
God bless
Debs xx

Isap
Posts: 1843
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: How are things progressing Isap

Postby Isap » Wed Oct 17, 2018 11:02 am

Hi Debs

Thanks again and I wish I was getting on that bus with you.

4 weeks and the new AD hasn't kicked in. I checked the net and it can take up to 6 weeks so still in with a chance. I think that the effect is delayed if you are taking other meds at the same time.

So periodically some horrid anxiety attacks but not constant

At JW Bible study the Messianic Kingdom established in 1914 by Jesus Christ previously Michael the Archangel came up as a topic. Can't say I was inspired. An American evangelist doing faith healing at the hospital said of the JW "They are very nice people but they got the wrong Jesus"

God bless

Isap xx


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