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Please explain depression to me

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loui
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:37 am

Please explain depression to me

Postby loui » Fri Jul 29, 2016 8:31 pm

Hello everybody,
I have read several threads of partners truly heartbroken because their spouses, boy/girl friend pushed them away or even brokeup with them. In my case, yesterday I got a whatsapp (yes, a text), in which my partner said to me he was ready for another life and goodbye. He broke up three months ago with me and I tried to remain friends because I saw he was not doing OK and I truly loved him and wanted to help him. But he couldn't stand being close to me, it seems. We know each other for over 4 years and we have been together for two.

I am in pain beyond words. As I cannot talk to him, I would appreciated if people with depression or that have had depression could please, please explain to me what was going on in their heads and hearts when they pushed their loved ones away. And also tell me if you ever went back to those you pushed away.

Depression is a terrible, terrible illness. It's incredible how fragile we are as human beings and how destructive can be to have a hurtful childhood. I hope the world could be flooded with love to ease all this pain that people suffer.

Thank you for reading me and blessings to all of you!

loui
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:37 am

Re: Please explain depression to me

Postby loui » Fri Jul 29, 2016 8:32 pm

I WISH the world could be flooded...

Isap
Posts: 1843
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: Please explain depression to me

Postby Isap » Sat Jul 30, 2016 4:01 am

Hi there

Listen to the 4 talks by Claire Weekes for an easy explanation of anxiety and depression

www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange. ... relax.html

Isap x

loui
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:37 am

Re: Please explain depression to me

Postby loui » Sun Jul 31, 2016 3:59 am

Thank you, Isap, I will!
Blessings to you!

christabel
Posts: 2110
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: Please explain depression to me

Postby christabel » Sun Jul 31, 2016 11:13 am

Hi loui

I don't think anyone could put into words exactly how you feel when in the pits of depression. You lose all hope, can't see a way out, better off for you and everyone else if you weren't Here, useless and can't understand why anyone would love you or want to be with you. That is just the tip of the iceberg.

Luckily we have medication and some of us have support so it is possible to have a life worth living.

I think all a person can do it let the sufferer ride out the bout of depression and just be there for them if and when they are ready.

Sending my best wishes. I know it's very hard for partners of people with MH problems. Take care and I hope things go well for you x Chris

loui
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:37 am

Re: Please explain depression to me

Postby loui » Sun Jul 31, 2016 10:12 pm

Hello, Chris, thank you very much for taking the time to write.

Reading your post and many others on this website I have learned how hard and difficult depression is. Too bad I got here a little too late. I could have helped my partner better if I had known all of these things six months earlier.

It's a shame that psychiatrists don't work with the family as a whole when treating someone with depression. I could have dealt with all the pressure and with my partner much better if I had known what was really going on. The first thing the psychiatrist should tell a partner of someone with depression is not to take things personally. But I didn't know that and I couldn't see the whole picture of the situation till it was too late.

Also, the psychiatrist should rely on someone close to the patient to check out the side effects of the powerful drugs the patient is taking. I could see the sides effects, but my partner couldn't, and the psychiatrist dismissed our concerns, which is really awful, because my ex is having serious issues with memory loss and confusion and there's nothing I can do about them.

As you suggest, I'll wait and see.

Thank you again!
Blessings!

Isap
Posts: 1843
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: Please explain depression to me

Postby Isap » Mon Aug 01, 2016 4:12 am

Hi Loui

Confusion and memory loss are symptoms of anxiety. The problem with anti depressants is that they take almost one month to be effective which really raises anxiety levels.
In any case, side effects usually last only two weeks or so.

As far as I know you are welcome to attend psychiatrist sessions with a patient if they agree

Just be patient and hopefully he will recover and come back to you

Isap x

loui
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:37 am

Re: Please explain depression to me

Postby loui » Tue Aug 02, 2016 12:36 am

Hi, Isap, my ex has been on antidepressants for more than a year now, and the confusion and memory loss were almost instant. Within three weeks he was already forgetting full days.

He takes Lamictal, which can give these huge memory loss gaps, unfortunately.

Thanks for all of your replies. I hope you are doing OK.
Blessings!

Isap
Posts: 1843
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: Please explain depression to me

Postby Isap » Tue Aug 02, 2016 2:59 am

Hi loui

I had to look up Lamictal on the net and you are right about it causing confusion. However it is not an antidepressant but mood stabilizer for BP sufferers. There are alternatives he could try.

Isap x

loui
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:37 am

Re: Please explain depression to me

Postby loui » Tue Aug 02, 2016 9:43 pm

Hi, Isap,
How are you?

I'm sure there are other drugs he could try, but, unfortunately, I don't have a saying on his treatment nor his life now. He broke up with me in April, but we remained friends, and now, last Thursday, he sent me a whatsapp message saying he was going out to find a new life, so we couldn't keep in touch anymore...

I'm devastated. And it is as if he didn't know that I love him. He makes me feel as if he is relieving me from a burden, when he is actually breaking my heart in million pieces I can't even find...

After all I have read about depression, my sad conclusion is that there's nothing I can actively do to help my partner, specially if he doesn't want to be in touch with me.

He has become a completely different person. It's weird, shocking and heartbreaking. And nothing that I have done seems to help him to go back to his old self. On the contrary, the more efforts I put the worse it seems to be.

Therefore, there's no other way than stepping out, as terrifying and destructive to my heart as that is.

Thanks, Isap, for your words and concern.
I hope you are doing fine.
Blessings!


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