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Thank you

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
AndreR
Posts: 417
Joined: Mon Aug 26, 2013 9:34 pm
Location: United Kingdom

Thank you

Postby AndreR » Thu Apr 24, 2014 4:07 pm

Hello Everyone

I just wanted to let everyone know that I will reluctantly be leaving the forums. This maybe good news or may not be good news for most members. Due to a past experience on the forum that I hope you will respect that I wish not to reopen to share, I expect has been left with an amicable understanding. Overall I feel the forums are an important place for support, most importantly they are yours.

What I will miss over the times I have been a member here, with over 400 replies of support is the interaction that had brought members closer together in support for each other. The care, compassion, and real concern that I hope each member experienced, talking through difficulties which I hoped had helped many in their deepest times of need.

Each and every one of you are precious and important, remember the strength and courage you all have that will surface when you need them most.

You know, when I initially joined the one thing that had contributed to my decision to offer support was the about of people joining, posting for help in their times of need, without any replies!. So many pages ‘0’s next to the posts without replies as well as support for yoursleves. But I hope to leave knowing that I had made a difference at least to one person in their life.

If I leave you with one thing is too consider is to reply to each other and new members when you can, even if it is just an acknowledgement to let them know that they have been heard and being thought of can make a difference to one’s loneliness and pain.

As an experienced emotional support worker and counsellor I will continue supporting in other fields I work in, but regret to say my time here has now ended.

Keep supporting each other. You will all do great. Thank you SANE for your patience and for allowing my time here.

I have enjoyed sharing and interaction with 'Every Member' I have come across on here.

For the last time, as always take good care of yourselves.

Andre
Do it...Afraid.

GrannyV
Posts: 661
Joined: Mon Dec 30, 2013 8:57 am

Re: Thank you

Postby GrannyV » Thu Apr 24, 2014 6:11 pm

Hello Andre

I am so terribly sad at what I have just read and the decision you have come to. It really is such a shame but I think I understand why you have chosen to leave.

You were the first person who answered my first post and I really did think that you were the only person from SANE that interacted with sufferers. It was a long time before I realised that you were just being the wonderful, good person that you are and that you replied to people out of the goodness of your heart and in order to try to help them.

I am certain of the fact that you have helped multitudes of people on here and I agree with you so very much that generally there is a great lack of response to people crying out for help. Like you I wished to help people suffering and reach out to give a bit of hope, comfort, love or whatever else I possibly could.

It goes without saying that you will be sorely missed and I would ask you to re-consider your decision. You must do, of course, what you feel right, but this site will not be the same without you.

There have been times when I have not fully understood what you have written but I have re-read things over and over until things become clearer. You have never pushed your thoughts onto anyone but have gently suggested ways which may help coping. Things which I would possibly have never considered.

You are a kind hearted, warm loving person and I really do wish you well, as I know many others will too.

Now I find myself pondering whether or not being on here merely aggravates others rather than trying to do what I intended, which was to be whatever help I could be to anyone suffering.

Please accept my love and gratitude. I don't really know what else to say as I feel rather numb and upset. So very very sad.

Take much care
Luv Granny V x x x x x x

Troppus
Posts: 514
Joined: Mon Feb 10, 2014 4:49 pm

Re: Thank you

Postby Troppus » Thu Apr 24, 2014 7:13 pm

Andre
I cannot help but feel like I contributed to this decision of yours to leave the forum.
You provided so much support and help to people on here that I feel it's only right I too must leave as I have robbed the forum of one of its most influential contributors.
It makes me sad to think you give so much and as for nothing in return. We do need more people to freely give their time in a support forum like this and in all fields of life. If only everyone was more like you perhaps there would not be so many people suffering poor mental health.
This is a big loss. Your posts will live on in Sane as members can look over them. I feel truly terrible.
I can certainly say you have helped me and for that I am grateful
I'm so sorry to hear of this decision
I really am

Troppus
Posts: 514
Joined: Mon Feb 10, 2014 4:49 pm

Re: Thank you

Postby Troppus » Thu Apr 24, 2014 7:43 pm

Andre I read your post again and you said reluctantly. If you go due to one post contributed to by myself then I too shall leave, but I urge to and I think a lot of others do too, to stay.
Ill be alright I think you have gone over and beyond in order to help myself, but I think your undervaluing your contribution here.
I'm sorry I don't expect a reply but I wish you would delete this thread and carry on.

There are people waiting on waiting lists everywhere to see someone in your profession, so your presence here is beyond value.

I am sorry I have crossed the line I do respect your decision but I thought it was worth a try
So I'll leave you with a genuine thank you and sadness at your decision

AndreR
Posts: 417
Joined: Mon Aug 26, 2013 9:34 pm
Location: United Kingdom

Re: Thank you

Postby AndreR » Thu Apr 24, 2014 8:55 pm

Hello Granny V & Troppus.

After posting with my decision to leave the forums it was only natural to look back for a day or so to read the replies. I hadn’t intended to post again until I read your kind posts .

I wish for you to understand that there is in no way anything that I even considered for you both to have influenced my decision. Totally the opposite. You both have been more than supportive and understanding and yet through your posts I had felt so much compassion for others. I don't wish for you to feel a heaviness on your heart, yet I know this shows the compassion and sensitivity that you have and can only accept your genuine concerns. Thank you for your thoughts.

Supporting each other and members together as a community shows how much compassion and strength their is on this forum.

One important thing I would ask you both is to reconsider that if a time comes when you need support to consider the value that SANE can have for you. I understand your sadness and by my replying has in some way touched me that had resulted in my submitting to reply.

As you know always I believe in openness and transparency in order for another to feel a sense of originality by who is offering support. I understand this can be difficult for some on forums where this connection cannot always be made. I wish to express that no one was at any fault; I often consider that the genuineness and kindness of a person can overcome the deepest pain in another. I have never hidden this fact.

Without any fault of anyone else I had a moment where I considered how my expression of genuineness had caused another to feel unsafe? I can see how this could happen. Forums offer members to be anonymous if they wish, yet in turn may instil a sense of fear. I understand this and don’t have any grudges; I would have always continued to support and help any member feeling unsure if they wished. So I hope with sincerity that this has been read.

I feel it could be important to help feelings here by sharing that I had been contacted by SANE moderating team who do monitor posts. I had received a kind and respectful message explaining SANE’s purpose. I don’t think SANE would mind If I shared part of their email, which I totally accept as SANE’s ethos:

“The Forum is based on an ethos of personal responsibility and mutual support. We have noticed that you offer support to others but share little of yourself and your own struggles; and that taking up a position of helper/ supporter of others without sharing anything tangible about yourself could leave some members feeling unsafe or confused, especially on a Forum with an ethos of mutual support in relation to mental health issues.”

I didn’t consider that I was in a position of taking up helper, but joined to provide voluntary support on occasions in my free time. I didn’t consider that the thoughts and feelings of another as to the support being offered to them would have caused confusion and a feeling of unsafe. I didn’t consider that offering genuine support could have caused this.

SANE has explained very well and did mention if I wanted to consider take a break from the forum. I admit I initially had mixed thoughts about this comment and in my own view if there was a hidden meaning behind it? that I found myself again questioning the effectiveness of my support?. but SANE has I would expect a responsibility to members.

I agree I haven’t shared much of myself for my main purpose was to offer support. In my view SANE’s ethos is for this forum to be mutual and aims to keep members to feel comfortable to be on SANE. I suppose if I had shared more of me may not have guaranteed my genuineness anyway?.

But I seemed to have not complied with SANE’s policy which for members should expect SANE has their interests at heart.

So please continue to use this forum if you feel the need to do so for support when you need it, I would not want anyone to suffer for the importance to get the help you need at the most needy times. But of course you have free will to make your decisions, but consider your own needs first.

It can be a wonderful place to be here on SANE, to feel safe and secure in the knowing that members can speak as they wish with often the deepest of pains possibly never been expressed before. It’s your forum to help express how you feel and for support as you need., But as Troppus commented ‘my posts are in the forum if an member wishes to seek support’.

Your both very kind and thoughtful and have a natural supporting compassion, for which I will always have memories of our interactions.

Take good care of yourselves and each other, :) big smiles :) and who know where our paths may cross in the future?

Andre
Last edited by AndreR on Thu Apr 24, 2014 10:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Do it...Afraid.

midnightescape
Posts: 251
Joined: Sat Feb 22, 2014 12:23 am

Re: Thank you

Postby midnightescape » Thu Apr 24, 2014 9:43 pm

Thank you for all your help I really appreciated your posts. Take care


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